92
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
92 points (91.1% liked)
Ask Lemmy
27281 readers
1664 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Pppfff heck yeah.
Pretty good example is my lifestyle.
I travel perpetually. I saved money for several years, invested it, budget the interest, and don't work unless I want to.
For years, when my lifestyle comes up, people often say something like "I wish I could do that" or "I've always wanted to travel". After I say "you definitely can", they ask me how they can do it.
When I explain how simple and cheap it is to work less/travel, they 1) get angry or 2) dismissive.
Their stated goals haven't changed, they still claim to want to travel and stop working, but after hearing that they can do it at any point, they shut down or say "well, maybe one day...", which means that after years of living a lifestyle they're dissatisfied with, they're going to choose to continue their confining lifestyle.
Usually in real life they insist they "could never", but online they seem more comfortable condemning any quick or simple solution to working too much and being depressed/poor/trapped in their life.
Other travelers I meet say the same thing, that they can only travel for a limited time, but the allienation is more stark with people who I know more personally.
I'll go traveling, and each time I visit old friends hear the same "wow, what, how?", then "must be nice" and "I could never" stuff I've heard year after a year from the same people.
I haven't brought up my lifestyle on my own initiative in years because I've experienced over and over how upset people become when they realize that they can take control of their lives at any point and are choosing not to.
I've come to understand that when people say, "I wish I could do that" or "I could live a life like that"... they're just admiring a thing that is mildly interesting or fashionable.
Most people hear "you can do it too" as a challenge to their current choices and not an invitation to a happier life. I don't take it personal...
As for how you're living, I find it really inspiring! I've tried to work out how I can make some changes and it's great to hear that others are doing it well.
Definitely. If they say something non-specific like " that sounds great" or " I wish I could do that", I don't pursue the topic at all.
It's more after we have a conversation including "Do you think I could do that too? How? Can you help me do it?" And I have to provide specific answers or show them and then receive the brunt of their ire or dismissal.
It is so satisfying when I do help someone achieve their goals, though, that if I am asked specific questions I usually help, even if nine out of 10 people will balk at the opportunity once they can see it in front of them.