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This was printed in Playboy magazine in April 2001.
It's hard to explain to people who weren't around back then how loose the "rules" were for making games. Conker's Bad Fur Day was definitely trying to market itself as edgy, but aside from some faith-based groups who would be upset, nobody really cared.
I dunno, I'm pretty sure you can go to the Nintendo e-shop on your switch and find straight up smut. Don't get me started on Steam.
I was scrolling through the eshop deals page and found a game that was called "Real Hentai"
Now I have a tendancy to misread things, and misunderstand reality. So I read the title again.
Real Hentai.
Ok, I'm clearly not getting context here. What's the app icon? Ok, it's half naked hentai girls looking real thirsty.
Ok. I HAVE TO BE missing something here. I must be missing context.
Google search.
"Charming girls in Real Hentai are waiting for your touch. Immerse yourself in a world of high-quality images, where charming girls are waiting for you, demonstrating their seductive forms in the most intriguing poses! The game is created with an emphasis on visual details, conveying the feeling of assembling a real puzzle. As the difficulty increases, the images become more and more piquant. Relax and enjoy every moment of assembling the puzzle."
Ok, no. I read that right. I understood it right. This game IS called Real Hentai, and it's exactly what it sounds like. On a Nintendo system. Sometimes my brain refuses to believe things that are obviously NOT true. I call it my bullshit filter.
It's just this time my brain flagged this as a false positive. That is to say my bullshit filter said "No. Something isn't right here. Nintendo wouldn't allow a hentai game on their eshop. Are you reading it wrong? I bet you're reading it wrong."
And my bullshit meter was REAL persistant that this was obviously fake. I mean, it's a reasonable thought process, right? The same company that censored final fantasy on the nes, and also changed tapper to root beer tapper, and censored the hell out of their own games.
They want to be family friendly. They wouldn't let porn on their system. It made sense for me to think that.
Nintendo let porn on their eshop. I didn't bother checking the esrb rating. I assume M, or maybe even AO. Because I swear. If this thing is rated T, my bullshit filter won't have a functioning barameter to know what's real and what's bullshit.
How do you filter out the bullshit, when the real world is a living breathing onion article come to life??? Even The Onion wouldn't accuse NINTENDO of peddling smut! The satire has to at least be BELIEVABLE!!!
The ONLY game that I'm capable of being pissed about on the Nintendo eShop is Night Trap. Because the President of Nintendo of America testified before congress that Night Trap would never be available for play on Nintendo hardware. I am physically unable to forgive the sheer amount of lying that happened that day.
I am going to trot out the perhaps tired old question of why we're less squeamish of teenagers or children playing violence-based games than we are sex-based games, why we're more comfortable with a 15 year old boy thinking about bullets going into heads than penises going into vaginas. But. Society has failed, answers are noise, nothing matters. Bring on the sea people.
Ok, you had me for the first half....but then that last line threw me.
Bring on the sea people? What do mermaids have to do with this?
I'm referring to a phenomenon of the late Bronze age in which poorly identified people came from the sea to attack the likes of ancient Egypt. Writings of the time do not identify who they were, where they came from, exactly what their mission was, but basically bronze age civilization was coming apart and these folks decided to be on the side of entropy.
It's a reference to the sea people that have been theorised to have brought about the end of the bronze age. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_Peoples