They already have a smart toilet to chemically analyze your piss. I'm feeling an inefficiency in the market.

Hey man are you OK?

Can confirm. I've been stopped up the last couple days and gave birth to a football this morning. No time for phones, just visceral panic and pleading to the almighty

my brother in christ eat more fibre, just get some psyllium husk if that's what it takes

You know it's about to get real when the shirt comes off and you put the phone down.

You leave a bit of yourself in the world, the world leaves a bit of carcinogens in you ❤️

Yes. And deep breathing is that without the paper tube.

here in sweden almost everything has translations in the other nordic languages, and school toilets have heating elements, so before phones it was universal that all students ended up learning "ei sa peitää" which means "do not cover" in finnish

YOU HEAR THAT, GOD?

As someone with chronic idiopathic hyperemesis, this is a mood.

I vomit too often and for too long to find anything zen about it. I spend the entire time heaving anxiously worrying over the state of my tooth enamel and trying to remember if I ate beets or chocolate last night to explain that colour or if I need to call an ambulance.

I vomit while using my phone. I'll play a podcast, video, music, etc

If I'm going to be heaving for 20 minutes 2-4 times a day every day for a few months, I'm not doing it in silence with my own thoughts.

I've been dealing with this on and off for about 7 years now, twice a year I'll just have a 1-2 months straight where I can't keep anything down, not even water unless I'm vigilant about stretching out my water intake over a whole day one tiny sip at a time. Then just as suddenly as it starts, one day I'll wake up and I just magically won't feel nauseous, and it's like I was never even sick!

Because it goes away on its own I've never been able to get to the bottom of it. When it starts happening, I book in with a doctor, by the time I finally see the doctor, the "flare up" has passed and any tests the doctor runs when I'm not sick are always normal. So doctors will just blame my migraine disorder for it, and move on. I recently learned about Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome so that's something I'm going to be talking to my doctor about when I see him next.

Son, never trust a man who doesn't drink when he drives; he's afraid he'll crash, and a fearful driver is a dangerous driver.

Depends how drunk and how violently I'm vomiting, really. At some point I just need all the support I can get... You're not gonna die from touching some old pee.

I'm already leaving the situation needing to clean myself. There are other things taking priority over hand placement

Normally? No

When I had E. Coli last year? Yes. And when I got too weak to do that I slumped over the bowl almost kissing the porcelain, absolutely disgusting but it was that or...

When I got to weak for that I flipped onto the floor and spiritually connected with mankind from years past cuz holy shit do I understand how diarrhea killed people now

If it's my own toilet it's probably one of the most sanitised places I can put my hands

(I'm very hygienic when it comes to my toilet, it gets sprayed with disinfectant several times a day)

read this while shitting

When I put away the phone for a meal I feel like a fancy Frenchman