riding lawnmower comes screaming out of the garage at its max speed of 5 mph, the driver dual wielding leaf blowers
When you inhale 5 lead 
10am is my personal cut off. I won't mow the lawn or do anything loud until after then. My kids on the other hand are the wildcard.
Is your neighbour dual-wielding lawnmowers?
Don't be ridiculous. He has a lawnmower in one hand and a chainsaw in the other.
Ash Williams moves to the suburbs
My neighbor was practicing with a trumpet at 1 am last night.
Drunk trumpeting is a special joy
Ohhh i'm legit printing this and sticking it on my neighbours car.
You don't need to leave a fuvking hemi running to 'warm up' 2m from a bedroom window on a weekend IN FUCKING MELBOURNE
Neighbor cuts their postage stamp lawn with a loud lawn mower for 30 minutes. When they finish the next neighbor thinks to themself, 'I should cut my lawn', and starts a loud mower. When they finish the next neighbor starts. ALL Saturday. One after the other! Can't you all just do it at the same time! Why can't you use a push mower on a lawn that is smaller than a car parking spot! Why does it take you 30minutes, of using loud power tools, to cut a lawn the size of a car parking spot!!!
What'd he do?
Back in CA, there was a total , appearance and all, that'd roll down the street in a golf cart with a massive sound system filling the entire rear behind his seat, and he'd blast out absolute trash dadrock with huge floor-shaking subwoofers, and do it all with this empty gammon grin behind his wrap-around polarized sunglasses, going back and forth at least twice a week around the same time.
He was still not as divorced as 
though.
Moving blankets are a wonderful solution. Hang them over your windows and enjoy the quiet. Get thick ones. Uhaul has good ones.
That means you're all going to be quiet and mindful of us third-shifters, right?
...Right?
Look how lucky you are. Mine desides 23:00 is the perfect time to start drilling.
Doing the lawn after dark seems so unwholesome. Which is annoying because I could use a 25° drop in temperature.
What about flying a kite in the dark?
And depending on the size of your lot, maybe you could use a reel mower. They're nearly silent!
You could also use a scythe, but that sounds like a lot more work.
Are you one of those damn night people complaining about us morning people getting on with stuff in the limited time window we have?
