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Decisions (slrpnk.net)
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[-] sag@lemm.ee 11 points 1 day ago
[-] Microplasticbrain@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

Thanks zuko

[-] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 122 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

And then what happened?
That must be really hard for you.
Wow. You don’t deserve that.
How do you feel about it now?
Ugh. That sounds awful.
You’re handling this better than I would.
How do you even respond to that?
Tell me about it.
What can I do to help?
You’ve got this, but I’m here.

Edit: I wrote the above to illustrate how many options there are in the parlance of active listening. The formula is simple: imagine how they feel and join their side or, if you can’t yet imagine, ask questions until you can. That’s it.

[-] Zwiebel@feddit.org 22 points 2 days ago

Look at mister "I leave the basement twice a week" over here

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

In the land of the ~~blind~~ awkward the ~~one eyed~~ I dunno less awkward I guess man is king

[-] bradd@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Thanks, man. I needed that.

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[-] Empricorn@feddit.nl 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"I'm sorry for your loss. Move on."

"It's not like you've lost a pen, is it? It's so much worse... Would you like a pen? I have a spare one. ...Please take it."

[-] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago

I'm so sorry, here, it's Cradle of Filth. It got me through some pretty bleak times.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 51 points 2 days ago

"Frankly, you brought this all on yourself" usually resolves it quickly, in my experience.

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Hello, we'd like to offer you a position as police chief in a neighborhood that will statistically have a school shooting soon.

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

That sucks.

[-] Fizz@lemmy.nz 6 points 2 days ago

Ah drawing aggro like a true tank.

[-] UncleStewart@sh.itjust.works 57 points 2 days ago
[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 29 points 2 days ago

This is slowly being replaced by 👍ing or ❤️‍ing the message. No actual words needed.

[-] poplargrove@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Haha, glad I learnt of this parody journal. There's also the Journal of Immaterial Science for anyone interested.

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“What can I do to help?”

[-] Fizz@lemmy.nz 16 points 2 days ago

"Its not that bad stop being a pussy" Works 30% of the time everytime.

[-] Teppichbrand@feddit.org 8 points 1 day ago

Pussies are pretty tough though. Balls on the other hand ... too warm, too cold, don't touch me, you'll hurt me. :)

[-] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

"Cool story bro, did I ever tell you about that time I took an arrow to the knee?..."

[-] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

"You know as someone who grew up with no food and a dirt floor I can relate. Growing up my mother died and I was often beaten by my father."

[-] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Relateable, I once had a blanket that didn't totally cover me. Toes or shoulder coverage only. We are truly brothers in suffering

[-] troglodytis@lemmy.world 53 points 2 days ago

That sucks. Definitely push the last one. This happened to me one time in band camp

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[-] theneverfox@pawb.social 3 points 1 day ago

All of them, this is a QuickTime event. You have to feel out what they're looking for. You have to hit the buttons in order and with the right timing

First - that sucks. Show empathy and active listening, see if they have more to say. Let them get it out

Next - you have to decide, are they more upset, or more stressed

Upset - story time, show sympathy. Keep it light on the details, and don't try to draw comparisons - keep it at the emotional level.
Then advice time - again, keep it brief and vague

Stressed - advice, lay out options rapid fire and see if they latch onto any. If they don't, story time - tell them about similar situations, without drawing emotional comparisons, where you got past it more easily than expected

[-] don@lemm.ee 10 points 1 day ago

“I can’t say I would’ve known what to do, had I been in your position.”

“I can only imagine what that must have been like for you, which understandably likely isn’t of much consolation to you.”

“It would be disingenuous of me to presume to know what it was like for you to have experienced what you endured, but I am happy to listen to what you have to say, if you wish to tell me.”

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 33 points 2 days ago

"That's rough, buddy" is my goto.

[-] veroxii@aussie.zone 20 points 2 days ago

"my first girlfriend turned into the moon"

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[-] Rooty@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

"Stop trauma dumping on me, do I look like a licensed therapist?"

[-] rumba@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

Conversely:

And how did that make you feel?

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

4: "I can help you hide the body if you want."

[-] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

That sucks.

[-] asret@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago

I can't tell whether this is supposed to be advice on what to do or not. I can certainly see people getting upset at all of them for putting your feelings and perspective at the forefront however.

[-] YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Or maybe ask what they need from you? Just a thought.

[-] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 16 points 2 days ago

It works spectacularly well with people you're close to or on very good terms with.

If my other half is kicking off about something, a quick "hey listen, are you wanting help to fix this or are you wanting to vent like fuck to feel a bit better?"

It's rarely the former, though I'd be more than happy to help if it was. At least then I can let her rage out and decompress without throwing in unwanted suggestions.

Probably comes across as a bit blunt to people you don't know well though.

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this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
841 points (99.2% liked)

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