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this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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Going by yourself under at least 13 is nonexistent in the United States.
When I was younger than 13 on two different ends of the US (Hawaii and New England), I took the city bus or rode my bike to go to libraries, bookstores, and other things in town; walked to the neighborhood pool; and so on. This would have been in 1988-1990.
It weirds me that not only are many parents not okay with that today, but that the schools and police have complied with their anxiety. Do you really want to have to drive your kids literally everywhere?
Suburban dad here.
It’s not so much that I’m afraid of drug dealers or pedophiles, I know the statistics and it’s barely on my radar.
If my (almost) 7yo asked me if he could ride his bike or walk to a friends house, unattended, I’d probably let him…if it were on our street (1 mile long road that ends in a cul de sac) or the adjacent street (since we can cut through our neighbors yard to get there).
But beyond that? It’s literally miles to the nearest bus stop or store. Even to the nearest park or playground. And while most of that is suburban secondary streets…it’s curvey, it’s hilly, there’s no sidewalk, shoulder, or bike lane, and people drive way too fast on it (and usually setting up their podcasts or checking on their pizza delivery while they’re at it, I assume, by how erratic they are).
I’m terrified to walk on it, at nearly 40. I couldn’t consider letting him ride unattended on it.
People are deathly afraid of kidnappers and drug dealers getting to their children, when in reality crime rates are the lowest they've ever been.
For the record, nobody ever offered me free drugs till I was in my 40s.
It all depends on the type of person. You'll see if somebody would possibly be inclined to use drugs and become a potential client.
People stopped asking me if i sell drugs, around the time i turned 30.
Past two decades, my husband gets these offers any time his hair grows to chin length. But, yeah, not as a kid.
I'm afraid of cars, that's it. It's a self-perpetuation circle.
We’re in the US and my son has been walking home from school since he was six. It’s only a two mile walk. In the mornings I drive him up to half a mile from the school on my way to work. They don’t have bike racks at schools anymore it seems otherwise he’d ride his bike. On a few occasions I’ve had him walk to school also. His older brother goes to the bus and back but that’s only half a mile away. They regularly go roam the neighborhood alone or with each other.
Our son's public elementary school gave no leeway about letting him walk 4 blocks after school. In the mornings they couldn't prove where he'd walked in from but after class they could only release him to an adult they had on their list... Nobody walked home from that school. I assumed it was insurance bullshit, but I also read stories about police being called by nosy neighbors for kids playing unattended in their yards.
As a 90s latch key kid I don't get this modern American hysteria. I'm sure kidnapping/assault stats are better than they ever were in decades past.. yet its less socially acceptable than ever to let a kid have any independence.
I had to fill out a form and get a laminated tag for my sons bookbag that identifies him as a Walker so staff know why he’s just bouncing after school. I don’t want anything bad to happen to my son obviously but I remember being able to just do my own thing growing up (80s-90s) and I believe it did wonders for my development, decision making, and confidence.
I’m glad I have the option to let him do something that I just assumed was still relatively normal. I had no idea walking home from school wasn’t a thing for a lot of schools anymore.
That’s crazy…four blocks away and he couldn’t walk.
I'm currently bringing her to that specific hobby as it's a bit further away than the area she's usually roaming around in, and she needs to cross one major road (connection to the highway) to get there - but I guess in a year or two she'll be able to do that by herself.
She sometimes gets brought to school in the morning as it's the same building her brother is in for daycare - but if she starts at a different time than him she can get there by herself, and of course she comes back by herself when it finishes. She's also not required to take the direct way home - or could even decide to go home with friends, as long as she calls us if she's coming unexpectedly late.
Good luck getting around the suburbs without a car
Why we won't raise our kids in suburbia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHlpmxLTxpw
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Today. When we were kids, my brother and I started riding public transportation on our own at 8 years old. (Yes, in the 80s.)