I can relate to this very much. I love Team Fortress 2 - it has just enough of that random hilarious stuff in almost every match that makes you laugh. I think it's a huge part of why the game is still alive and broke its player record recently.

streamlined misery simulators where the attitude is everyone is an idiot except yourself.

Too real (talking mostly about CS:GO as I that's the one I have most experience with on your list). It's... occasionally fun, especially if your team gets into a slighly less casual mindset and plays it a bit more tactically.

But it often ranges down to the collective team just getting mad all the time and throwing various accusations around for seemingly the fun(?) of it. Fun match? Maybe, sometimes. All the time? Absolutely not, thank you.

Over the years I've started reaching more and more for co-op instead (Deep Rock Galactic, PlateUp!, Alien Swarm, Minecraft, Unrailed, ...) and it has been a lot of fun, both solo and with friends.