68
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
68 points (98.6% liked)
Asklemmy
44157 readers
1449 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
My parents. Asked me to upend my job and life, move halfway across the country to be closer to them as they approached their elder years so I could help them out as their health is slowly declining. They've told me all my life they just don't want to go to a nursing home when they got older.
So yeah, I did it. Me and my parents have issues for sure, but ultimately I love them and they always have done right by me.
I had to adjust a bit, but I work from home and am single with no kids of my own, so it wasn't as difficult as it is for some people I'm sure. But yeah, I have never done as much for any other family member or friend, but if I were given the choice again, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.
Why couldn't they move close to you? You had a job and life settled. They are retired and therefore far more flexible in that aspect.
There might be some factors you didn't share of course. If I was asked the same I would help but it's my parents who would have to move. If they are not willing then clearly that help is not needed so badly to justify such a drastic change in my life.
Yeah, I understand what you mean. I lived in one of the pricier cities in the US with sky high cost of living. While my parents could afford to move there, it would be a lot more costly as far as living than where we all are currently. That and the mental/physical burden of moving at their age would be heavy for them even with hiring movers, etc.
It just worked out. My life, as of right now, is very flexible with very few responsibilities other than my job, so it was an easier decision to make than most would have given similar circumstances and choices.
I will admit I miss my friends though. I keep up via social media and the occassional jitsi meet/zoom call, text message, etc, but I do miss getting together for coffee or beer from time to time.
Anyways, thanks for asking. I hope that sheds a bit more light on it.
It makes sense. Everyone situation is unique.
I'm dealing with some entitled person in my family so I have learnt to be defensive on this sort of requests. I'm prividing help but with the clear boundaries. I'm not going to sacrifice my life because someone wants to.