I think it's wild to see your first point made so frequently especially in light of the push for advancements in digital rights over the past few years. Having access to your data is by no means equivalent to having rights over it's usage (yes even with regards to showing ads NEXT TO the content) and any conversation that doesn't take that into account is dishonest at best.

Your second point I strongly agree with. The absolute best case scenario here would've been for the existing fediverse to refuse federation unless Meta agreed to some fairly basic terms. It was probably the only time when noncorporate social was going to have any leverage at all. Not necessarily too late but it seems unlikely