which seemed like it implied being held to any moderation standard was problematic.

I think that's more of your interpretation than my intention.

In nearly 3 and a half decades of heavy internet use, admin and mod messages in general are more annoyance than value and I find that my experience is better just filtering them all out. I know that probably applies less here than in most other forums I've participated and probably sounds like I'm being personally hostile.

I'm sincerely not, you seem like a pleasant and well written person and we probably align in a lot of our ideals.

But I'd still block you if I had the opportunity, again because of your role, not your person. Keep in mind Lemmy's blocking doesn't prevent you replying like reddit's did so there really should be no implications in me wanting to block admin replies. You can still illustrate to the community what my rules failure is and I can be mercifully free of arbitrary justifications.

Even though I do not have experience at such a large scope, I understand being a mod/admin isn't easy, I co-modded /r/talesfromtamriel for a few years and even as a niche sub with a positive community, it was still a task to handle all the spam and harassment.

So I want you to know I value your effort and have been very much doing my best to be a contributive member of this instance as I was on early reddit, but I want to make this very clear: I would still block you, and every admin and mod on the instance if I could. And I have that sentiment for every single forum I have been on since AOL chatroom days.

To be clear, the only site I have ever been banned from in my entire time on the internet has been reddit for saying 'Punching nazis is a moral good'. I am not a rabble rouser or deliberate antagonist (with the exception of auto antagonism towards white nationalists and I will gladly take any ban you want to give me for shouting down nazis) and truly value the good online communities I participate in.

And I like beehaw, and most of the people I've spoken to here are quality posters. This feels a lot like old reddit for the most part. I want to be a longtime member and contributed tens of thousands of words a week.

But I don't really want to see anything from any mod or admin because if it's positive, fine I don't need to be aware of it. If it's negative, then I will find out the results organically. Again I know this will feel like a personal attack but it really isn't: I am better off not knowing what those roles type because in nearly every circumstance there is an implicit or explicit misuse of authority that will piss me off to no end and cause me to reply in ways that seem to only antagonize the situation.

And you will say 'But here, we are different. We moderate with a light touch and only when necessary'.

And I have heard that so many, many times before and I can count the number of times that has been true on one hand of a clumsy woodshop teacher.

And you may be correct, and frankly this place has the BEST chance I've seen of being true to that maxim, and I am thankful that this place exists because of it.

And I know moderation is necessary, there are truly rancid and destructive people out there that need to have their posts removed, and accounts banned for the betterment of the community.

And I know it is a thankless, no-pay job that exposes you to the worst the internet has to offer (and that is saying something).

That said. I'd still block you if I could. I don't mean that personally, it just works out better in the long run.