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this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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Strictly speaking, that's simply bisexual. Femboys are boys. That being said, there is no "correct" answer here that anyone else can give you.
The correct label is the one that helps you navigate the world and your own needs the best. If bisexual fits, congrats, that's it. If it doesn't, it's not, and your search continues :)
I wouldn't say bisexual makes sense categorically for anyone who dislikes half of the masculinity/femininity spectrum. I mean it is a bit different with femboys, but I also suspect attraction there is very superficial (esp. if the look uses silicone body stuff) and likely wouldn't work as much in-person especially on a relationship level.
There is the term gynephilia, though I also don't expect something like that to be casually mentioned/understood/accepted. In which case, no good answer I guess.
Bisexual is simply someone that is attracted more than one gender. Nothing to do with masculinity or femininity, so in this case, as I said, it's a perfectly acceptable label. But if it doesn't help the OP navigate the world or understand themselves, then it's not the right label for them. If gynephilia does help them, then that's the right term.
Its not bisexual, assuming bisexual means in this context a biologically born man who is equally sexually attracted to gay men and straight women, or bi men and bi women.
It also is not pansexual, as there's clearly /I don't actually have equal sexual attraction to literally anyone/ going on.
I am actually like this too, have been for a long time.
Now, I do not want to presume to speak for this person, so the rest of this is just me.
Maybe they can chime in and agree or disagree.
Absolutely not attracted to men, of any kind of presentation.
But... I'd love to fall in love with a woman who could peg me, or a transwoman. I'd fellatio a transwoman's unit no problem. But not a gay man, or a bi man.
So... by that, we've got what used to be called basically a kinky guy?
And while I am an lgtbq ally (or arguably member), Ive always been comfortable with my own male body, and basically present as a cis male.
So, its some new kind of sexuality/gender there is not really a name for yet.
At least for me, it isn't femboy, as I have 0 interest in being essentially a feminine cross dresser with very submissive personality traits and cutesy uwu affectations.
I have nothing against femboys, but I personally would not be interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with one.
Bisexual doesn't mean that... Bisexual means someone who is attracted to two or more genders...
The OP explicitly said they're attracted to femboys, so their experience is different to yours.
The only person who can say whether bisexual is the right label for the OP though is the OP. But if they feel it fits, it fits exactly the experience they've described.
Hrm, every self professed bi person I've ever met described themselves the way I described them as, likewise with every pan person.
Didn't realize the the definition of bi had changed.
Today I Learned, I guess.
I'd call that polysexual, if it means attraction to 2+ genders, though I get that the term comes from back before gender itself was really widely critically analyzed.
And of course polysexual would be confused with polyamorous.
But yes, you are correct this is the modern definition, so I guess I am bi then.
But I'd never like identify openly as bi, because, again, everyone I've ever met /not on the internet/ would think that means I like dudes and gals.
Bi has never meant “equal attraction.” Have you not heard of the Kinsey Scale? There are multiple levels of bisexuality.
Ah, yes, I have. I shouldn't have phrased it as equal attraction, perhaps, 'willingness to sexually engage with either sex'.
Though isn't the Kinsey Scale now woefully out of date anyway, as it comes from research in the America of 1948 and 1953, only considering essentially men and women, and hetero and homosexuality, when it is now understood that gender is actually distinct from sex?
It hasn't. The bisexual manifesto, going back to 1990 for example, said the following
Huh, I hadn't read it. Everyone I know / knew who identified as bi in the 00s or 10s explained it to me as I said, and that does seem to be the general public understanding of the term by anyone Ive talked to in person in the last 5 years or so.
Ive also had self professed pan people explain bisexuality to me as I originally described it as recently as 2 years ago.
And that is ultimately why everyone gets to pick their own labels irrelevant of discussions like the one we're having. It's all subjective and malleable over time!
Bisexual is defined as attraction to more than one gender, where gender is a component of the attraction. So if you 96% like one gender, 3% another, and 1% yet another, that's bi. If you're 60/40, that's bi too. Bi = multiple genders where gender plays a factor. It has never meant only 50/50.
Pansexual is attraction to people where gender doesn't play a role. Pansexuals' patterns may look like a bisexual's patterns because they date across genders, but the attraction matrix is different.
Finsexual (Gynesexual) is attracted to feminine traits generally. Whether penis or vagina, it is the femininity they like. I can speak to this as this is me. I like feminity, not necessarily women particularly. I use bisexual as shorthand because most people "get" that.
Solid definitions:
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Bisexual
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Pansexual
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Finsexual
200% blahaj
I've never met a bi person who insisted that they're attraction to the genders were equal. Many had preferences (mostly into women, but defintely go with certain guys) and many had phases (more into men today, but was previously crushing hard on that girl). It's one of the commonly talked about sources of bianxiety, that you can go through a period where you start thinking "am I really bi? Maybe I'm just straight / gay" and then you see someone and remember "no, I'm totally bi". Bi erasure is such a thing it even effects bi folks! (source am bi, have lots of bi friends)