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this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2024
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I told my partner that if the pan wasn't gonna make us USA folks switch to bidets, nothing will. We suck. Lemme smash shit all over my asshole and pretend it's clean.
If that's your technique no wonder you need a bidet lmao
I don't have a bidet but toilet paper is objectively insufficient. As an illustration consider your response if you spilled peanut butter on the carpet. Are you reaching for a dry paper towel?
Your skin is not a carpet. You could remove toilet paper from, for example, a granite countertop with a dry paper towel. If you also regularly sponge down your kitchen surfaces it works perfectly well.
A granite countertop does not have hair.
Maybe yours doesn't
Imagine you got dog shit on your arm. Would you just rub it with a piece of toilet paper and call it a day? Of course not. If all you had was a hose, wouldn't you at least rinse it off?
Other people's shit isn't usually in my buttcrack
Well, yeah, duh. I wasn't making that claim, I was demonstrating a point to you where even you find using just paper to be insufficient and not merely a matter of poor technique.
I just try to do a sales pitch of playing asteroids. Would you rather smear shit between your cheeks or surgically blow asteroids out of orbit?