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this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2024
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Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
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I don't think gender is of much help here, apart from your preference/orientation when flirting.
Personally, it would've put me off a bit if someone I haven't seen before took a drink out of my hand without asking, because my only way of dissenting would rely on an unprepared attention and strength game - would I've been asked (person pointing on the drink or verbally asking), I could say or gesture a yes (Only yes means yes). Asking is sexy.
I agree, thank you. That could've been a good opportunity to actually speak to him for the first time. I keep wondering though, was there anything that could have been done to fix the situation once it happened?
You took someone's drink... before even having spoken to them first?
That's all kinds of weird.
Best interpretation would be, you wanted to skip all the talk and other time wasters, and just have a quickie in the bathroom, then maybe exchange numbers or not. Some people are into dogging, others into "free use" orgies, so not trying to shame anyone, but most people are not into those scenes.
Worse interpretations, start at poor hygiene, trying to spike their drink, ending up in not expecting consent, rape, robbing them, or even death. STDs are also a concern (starting with mono, which most but not everyone got, and in some cases can cause acute reactions).
There might be a dom/sub pair that could find that move as reasonable flirting... but not talking it before, is still weird.
You could've tried approaching them and apologizing, but chances are it wouldn't work.
If you don't think it should be a normal flirting step towards whatever you want, best thing is to "live and learn": just don't do it again.