I mean, I've never seen a real platypus but I'm not going to use that as a justification for why they can't exist.

I don't know what to tell you. It's a spectrum. I've worked in shops that claimed to be agile but to them, that just meant JIRA and story points. I've worked at places where agile meant having daily standups.

And I've worked places where there actually was a genuine attempt, and that was an awesome place to work.