Thank you for the reply!

It would likely help if the conversation around new user distros was a bit less of an argument

Fair. Though, I suppose we shouldn't ignore that the promoted distros are mostly the distros people use for themselves. And, while some have been on a distrohopping spree to arrive at their home. Others, instead, just got a recommendation, tried it and have been using it ever since. Yet others knew what they sought and/or needed. Hence, in their case, it was more a search to find a distro that satisfied their specific needs. Finally, it's perhaps worth mentioning that the popular distros mentioned in these discussions are overall good picks.

if the number of suggested distros was a bit less.

Absolutely fair. Unfortunately, we've got over 300 distros that are currently maintained and 50 would argue they're newbie friendly 😅. It's a hard one for sure. But, I believe you can definitely narrow down the list if you know what you want. For example, in my case, there's literally only one distro that answers my needs. So, I just use that one 😅.

It would help with the decision paralysis aspect of it at least.

Brings back memories. This process took me about two weeks.

I see enough threads of experienced users troubleshooting more than I really want to deal with

On the other hand, people that don't ever experience any issues, don't feel the need to post about that 😅. But, I can understand why it could make you anxious. Thankfully, distro choice does play an important factor in this. So, it makes sense for you to use a distro that's designed to (somehow) avoid this and thus limits the amounts of troubleshooting you'd have to resort to.

I don’t like the idea of my whole computer being like that because I chose the wrong hardware (I have nvidia)

Absolutely fair. Nvidia on Linux can definitely be a mess. The more popular and modern models should work on most distros. However, if your specific model is more obscure, then this can definitely cause more trouble than it's worth.