Of course, the mad men won't leak those details until they're on their death bed and need to repent.

Here of a slightly more refined take.

Anti plastic straw campaign is an industry gambit to undermine environmentalist anti plastic movement. It create maximum public inconvenience and backlash against the environmentalist cause for a minimal loss of profits. This moves protects the rest of the industry by reducing support to the anti plastic caused through backlash and the feeling of accomplishment and sacrifice

Chatgpt re interpretation

This perspective suggests that the anti-plastic straw campaign is a strategic move by the plastic industry to protect itself. By targeting plastic straws, which are a minor part of plastic waste but widely used, the campaign creates significant public inconvenience. This inconvenience can lead to a backlash against the broader environmental movement. Consequently, people might feel that the inconvenience of giving up straws is enough of a sacrifice, reducing their motivation to support more substantial anti-plastic initiatives. Meanwhile, the plastic industry sustains minimal financial impact since straws represent a small fraction of their overall product lineup. This theory implies a sophisticated tactic to safeguard the industry's interests by diverting attention from more impactful areas of plastic production and consumption.