Oh no TW (or I guess WoT now), that sucks! I won't give you any lectures, but if you'd like some (lecture + judgement free) suggestions on backup or password management software, just let the DT know. Most people (unfortunately including myself) don't set these things up until it's too late, but they're pretty simple to set up, and low maintenance in the long term if you choose the right software

As for ID, I reckon a broomstick will be sufficient. That's how we'll be able to tell if you really are a witch or not. As for whether you live in Thornbury or not, have you ever used a form of transport that isn't a train or tram since your move?

Edit: or a bike/ebike