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They are and in a weird way they aren't... I didn't play a WHOLE lot of souls likes. I finished Elden Ring, am pretty far into Dark Souls 3 and Lies of P, played some Dark Souls 1 and 2.
The thing is: Yes, you die very often for sometimes maddening and sometimes silly reasons, but you get better: The mechanics just start to "click", you earn just enough souls to afford another level up or some piece of equipment, you learn the positioning of you enemies, their attack patterns, timings etc... And slowly and steadily you progress: Around the next corner, to the next boss, you beat the boss. Then you come back to an area you already visited and murder everything...
And if you can't progress in any way there are summons (players or NPC) that can give you an edge or you try using consumables you forgot about...
Especially the Fromsoftware games have managed to hit that sweet spot where the game is challenging but (most of the times) doesn't feel unfair or broken. It's just an amazing piece of game design and you should try it. :)
It's not the difficulty, but the time commitment the difficulty requires.
I enjoy games that are difficult that allow me to retry 5 seconds later. It's why I can enjoy Super Meat Boy, Neon White, VVVVVV, etc despite my busy schedule that affords me maybe 2 hours a week for gaming.
For a Souals-like you have to spend way too much time retrying and attempting to get good.
That's a fair point and I agree with you that it's difficult to enjoy soulslike (I am referring to the game's I played. I'm sure there are exceptions) in short bursts.
But I don't know whether this is because of their higher difficulty compared to the games you mentioned (which I didn't play a single one of) or because they're overall slower games.
I loved Fallen Order which is very Souls-like because I was able to turn down the difficulty and just play the game without having to spend 4 hours perfecting my dodge rolls to get past a boss.
Its okay to like hard games, but a difficulty slider to let everyone else enjoy it too isn't too much to ask.
Unless you think the difficulty is the only enjoyable part of the game.
I really hate the "git gud" mentality.