87
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
87 points (97.8% liked)
Asklemmy
44183 readers
1617 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
I mean, it's all about setting good boundaries clearly.
That goes for partner, parents, and you. Each of you (and your parents separately for that matter) can freely place limits on how often visitors are welcome.
And, as long as it isn't done in the wrong way, a couple can freely negotiate how often and how long the partnership can handle one partner visiting other family. Kinda weird for it to be an issue out of the blue like this post makes it seem, but that's only partially relevant.
By wrong way, I mean ultimatums and heavy handed coercion.
But, and this is where that partially relevant comes in, why is it such a significant concern that you'll go to their house too often/too long? That's a pretty dang specific worry, and I suspect that the answer to that question would lead to better suggestions on how to handle the boundaries involved. It really seems like that's a concern based in something important, whether or not it's realistic. Addressing that concern would likely be as or more important than any actual decision regarding visit boundaries.
But that's whatever, the goal as it stands is to work out what your partner and you each see as reasonable visitation boundaries, then (if they don't match) negotiating those boundaries until they're mutually acceptable.