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EDIT; I can't reply to everyone individually but thanks for all the suggestions! Opiates are out of the question, doctors here will only prescribe those in terms of absolutely extreme suffering or end of life care. I also don't particularly feel interested in developing a hard drug habit. Diclofenac and such are available but also only on separate prescriptions, I'd have to visit another doctor for that. I'm well stocked on paracetamol & ibuprofen, and apart from that, lots of ice cream, pudding & soup :)
Also, since a fair few people seem to doubt the veracity of my story, here's the 22 extracted teeth (the other 10 were already gone in previous extractions).
Similar issues (no floride as a kid, natually crooked). I floated the idea of getting mine replaced all together with my dentist a couple months ago. She advised against it, said it would change the sense of taste / food taste. I dunno if that's accurate, but it put me off the idea for a bit.
My brother had his removed a few years ago (he spent years dipping tobacco). He looked like he'd been in a car wreck with serious bruising under his eyes. I don't know how long he had that look as I was visiting and didn't see the full recovery.
I just replaced mine as they were abscessed or impacted and I didn't notice a change, but that was over several years. I would have died in the middle ages.
If you can afford it I recommend getting the worst of them replaced with implants. If you can't then get some partial dentures to replace whatever you've lost. It will help both your confidence and quality of life.