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Andrew Tate ‘raped and strangled us’ - women tell BBC
(www.bbc.com)
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this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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Maybe young men should build a role-model construct of good qualities they see rather than idolize a single patriarchal figure and seek to emulate them, including their flaws.
Speaking as someone who was fortunate to have a decent dad, and a decent step dad, who were radically different.
Plenty of kids do not have decent male role models in their life though. That's part of the problem. So they turn to the internet and find people like Tate.
I really have no idea how we fix that on the internet. I guess volunteer for big brothers/big sisters if you can.
The power of anonymity.
Ah right, it’s on the children to build their own role models
That isn’t a fair expectation
And why should a random snot-nosed kiddo do that while not having a role model to advise it. Sure, boys have no issue looking for role models when none are in their immediate surroundings -- but then you also run the risk of them seeing "oh, people with money are respected" (after all, capitalism and everything) and "Oh, Tate has money and is confident and is talking to me". The rest is tragedy.
...kinda generational, btw: Reportedly Tate got the way he got by seeing some guy in a Lambo or something (literally or figuratively) spitting on a mechanic or something and saying to himself that he's going to be the guy with the Lambo.
such wisdom in these words. i’ve long speculated that our lived experience growing up in a capitalist system (at least the one we’re in) severely warps our concept of admiration in peripheral but profound ways. we don’t have heros, we have brands. tate is a brand, musk is a brand, theil is a brand, as is cena and rogan and so many other influencers. because being a brand makes the vibe/essence/aesthetic being projected feel both real and posessable. it has effectively replaced our social framework for developing an identity with algorithmically profitable assimilation. values? an eye for opportunity is all you really need to be successful.
the reality is we are all beautifully flawed, with gifts and deficits that all deserve to be acknowledged in equal measure.
No one is safe from the gods we create, they all turn on us.
This is the pick yourself up by your bootstraps version of raising a child. You can't seriously expect a 12 year old to have enough wisdom and initiative to do this? Why do we have this unrealistic expectation that men are super capable and just choose to be failures? It's the same system that fails everybody else, that's also failing them
You got a solution, or anything new to add to the conversation? Or are you just going to whine like everyone else?
Cause frankly, I don't have a fix for this. At least not one that is overly authoritarian, like controlling every piece of media that is available to children, and creating a guide for what characteristics of different role models should be emulated, and what should be avoided.
Maybe at a certain point, it is up to the individual to form their own set of desirable positive characteristics and seek to incorporate those traits into themselves. We can't (or really shouldn't) just thought and content police everything for every child. They have growth and developement that the must do for themselves, no one else can do it for them.
Are you also against diverse representation in media? That's been pushed for years, and to an extent we've succeeded. There's no reason we can't do the same for male role models