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this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2024
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"alright, is everyone here? this is an all-hands meeting. Where is Joey? Is he in the bathroom again? He's missed the last 3 meetings... Anyway. Top of the agenda, there's apparently a fire, right over there. Fires are kinda hot and so we have been sure to stay a good distance away, as to not raise the temperature of everyone's complimentary bottled water, handed out at this meeting.
Now it says here that we should tackle this situation as quickly as possible. Has anyone run the numbers by the finance team? We don't want to spend too much on this. The big-wigs upstairs never think about the big picture, and really I don't see why one fire is worth pivoting all our available resources. Samantha, yes?"
"Sir, the fire is growing at an alarming rate, shouldn't we just postpone the meeting and focus on the fire?"
"See, that's exactly the kind of thinking the execs have. But if we spend all our resources, cuts will be made, and jobs will be lost. Not mine, of course, but others. Did anyone do a PR analysis on us 'putting out this fire' versus just running a week-long 'we are sorry' ad campaign?"
(lol I just got the thought and ran with it)
"This could've been an email"