It's great in theory, but it doesn't actually work in real life. It never has.

It does work, and continues to. Please explain exactly what you mean here, you're just vaguely gesturing. What was Marx wrong about? What part of Marxism doesn't work? Can you give concrete examples of trackable metrics?

This is why people look at these Marxists trying to run in a Presidential election and just point and laugh.

You do, sure. Marxism is rising in the US, though, as the contradictions within Capitalism Marx noted result in further wealth disparity. It's also increasingly popular worldwide, the PRC is the largest economy in the world and is run along Marxist-Leninist lines. Less than a month ago, Sri Lanka elected a Marxist-Leninist president.

It's an angsty philosophy for young people who haven't learned better yet.

What's better, in your eyes? What would you recommend a Marxist read or learn from to "grow out of Marxism?" Your "great in theory, not in practice" US State Department nonsense has been repeated constantly, every single Marxist has heard that before, I'm talking about actual points.

I suggest you read Blackshirts and Reds, it's a great book debunking common anticommunist myths.