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When is it the right time to give up?
(sh.itjust.works)
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There's a lot of "all or nothing" thinking here. Have you tried talking this out with a therapist you trust at all?
Wishing you the best, friend, from someone who's actively fixing their life before I turn 45. It'll take time to get there. I'm totally enjoying the reduced stress, anxiety and depression as I work on it.