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I tried hosting Gitlab for a while, but configuration and upgrades were difficult, and your really have to stay on top of updates due to vulnerabilities. It also used a lot of resources and wasn't super responsive.
I moved to Forgejo (a hard fork of Gitea), and haven't looked back; I cant recommend it enough. It's fast, doesn't take a lot of resources, actively developed, and has all the features I need.
Codeberg is a public instance of Forgejo if you want to try it out first.
It's not fully selfhosted but I did setup my own runner that integrates with their site.
Thanks! May I ask what kind of setup you were running and if there's any feature you might be missing that existed in GitLab but doesn't in Forgejo?
I was on an old repurposed desktop with 16gb ram and a i7 6700k at the time.
I haven't felt that I've been missing any features from Gitlab. I do use Woodpecker-CI for runners because Forgejo action's weren't working for Docker builds, but I think the Forgejo actions have come a long way since I made that decision; I'll have to try them out again one of these days.