You've most certainly seen it to be applicable. The issue is, the most arrogant people are always the loudest. People who claim to be feminist, but are terfs or misandrist usually garner the most negative attention and people start to only believe that feminism only means that thing. Feminism isn't very eye catching. People who are it don't scream at the top of their lungs.

Feminism is more widespread than you might believe too. Cause it's really really simple. Women and men are equal, deserve equal rights and for the majority of examples, can perform the same tasks.

Equality doesn't mean equal treatmeant, but equal outcomes. Obvious black and white examples like men don't need cervix screening.

There are more nuanced things too, like homeless rates, suicide rates, career opportunities, sexual assault victims, education graduation rates, family court biases etc. All things that require nuanced attention between the sexes, and aren't easy to get right.

99% of feminists are just your every day person, wishing for a more equitable world. There's fringe parties of every socially political movement. I've kind of always wished there was a slightly more balanced name, but the movement started from the suffragettes, so it makes sense from a historical stand point.

Hi, it's me, a non extreme feminist! (We agree, except on the word never and always, so just read)

Sometimes it looks like extremes because in order to have equality, or equity, you have to change existing systems that promote the inequality and inequity. This to some may look like favouring the minority (power not number), when in fact it could just be trying to undo some of the damage. For example, changing a system that promotes men over women would involve maybe extra research into women's health, because studies almost always don't take into account that women's bodies are different. BMI was built for men, dosages for medication are typically figured out for men, etc. Same goes with other minorites, btw. This extra research may make a majority group member feel like the system is prioritising others to the detriment of their self, when in fact it's just trying to establish an equilibrium, as that research (from the example) is already there for them.

Now from people? Yes, you are right. Sometimes (you may say often or a hyperbolic always) adherents will be wrong about what feminism is. That's a struggle that the idea has to contend with just like every other movement. But feminism itself isn't about extremes of hate, though the systemic change to bring about feminist goals may feel extreme due to the scale of work to be done.

… have you met humans? Moderation is difficult. Capitalism and Communism both have difficulty not sucking due to humans. People always just take everything too far.