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this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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As a Canadian who has watched a loved one die very slowly and spent a fair amount of time in hospice I changed my mind about wanting to fight to the bitter end.
My mother in law was a lovely lady, but unable to really face her death. Seeing what others were going through she begged us to not let that be her but the rules are she and she alone needed to sign off on the paperwork while she was lucid. We couldn't set that up for her, she needed to do it herself... And she couldn't face it and she missed her window.
The last week of her life was hell. She was so weak from not eating due to her cancer that she fell and hurt her hip. Thing people don't really tell you about wasting away is your brain essentially becomes too energy expensive to run. She lost the ability to understand what was going on around her and had to be restrained in the bed so she wouldn't try to get up and she, unable to interpret what was happening, started making escape attempts throughout the day and night frequently crying in pain. She begged like a small child for us to help her and looked at us like monsters because we couldn't. She had been one of the most staunchly independent people I had known and she spent her last week in agony and all of us were powerless watching knowing it was the last thing she wanted.
I was so thankful for the Hospice care. I realized it could have been so much worse if her care was expensive or wasn't handled with such an incredible standard of compassion... But the experience left all of us close to my MIL more than a little traumatized.
It's important to realize that these decisions are intensely personal. I would not wish what happened to my MIL on my worst enemy. Depictions of death in media do not adequately prepare you for the potential realities of every situation. That perceived duty to live as long as you can isn't always a kindness.
I appreciate the personal anecdote. I believe in cases like the one you detailed, assisted suicide is not only morally justified but I think perhaps even obligatory. It does sound horrific and I can only imagine how horrific it feels to be that person going through that period of time.
When I say duty to live, I'm more speaking to those who are not terminally ill. Another user brought up a good point where what we need to do is look at the death % rates and see how they shifted. For example, if 20% of people now die from assisted suicide, do 20% less people die from cancer and other similar diseases? Then assisted suicide is for all intents and purposes relegated to terminally ill patients.
If the number, however, is let's say 15% less people die from cancer, that would imply 5% more people are dying because of assisted suicide than would have otherwise died. This is the part I'm scared of.
Again, I appreciate your comment. It must have been a profound thing to witness. For good and for bad.
In the articles I have read the terms "raised alarms" does a lot of work. Yes a lot of Christian groups "raise alarms" but that's a little toothless when there is a history of a lot of sects believing that suicide, regardless of it's circumstances, is a gateway to hell. The median age of people taking up the offer on assisted suicide is at age 78.
We as a country have a massive die off occurring as the youngest of the Baby Boomers, one of the biggest ever generations in our country's history... Is now reaching retirement age. There is a steep change in how the body ages and metabolizes things around age 60 and there's a bit of an expected die off that accompanies that change. Considering the Canadian government and population is particularly sensitive to watchdoging any potential genocide or eugenics programs the system is designed with a lot of checks and balances. You need two doctors who are unrelated to each other's practice to sign off on even starting the process which takes about a year to complete if you are not terminally ill. Any particular spikes in pairs of potentially colluding doctors who sign off together on the paperwork too often trigger an investigation.
Part of the cultural development of the last two decades has been fallout from the government admiting that they and the Catholic Church were jointly responsible for a genocide of the indigenous peoples. While keeping a weather eye on the program is merited a lot of the controversy is more towards the end of people wanting a scary bogeyman to point to in order to erode faith in the Government when really the system is one that was heavily advocated for and was very carefully designed. While concern is natural... It's also good to do the reading to explore the depths of the system's design and implementation and know that it was from the get go in conversation with ethical watchdogs and is under review since it's inception to monitor the effect it is having. "Somebody warns scary numbers are scary" is basically the imperative of the media who only gets paid when you pay attention to them and scary, half explained things is one of the noisemakers that is effective.