I'm trying to answer honestly and I don't know how to explain this through the internet. You're not the only person whose asked this. And Ive explained this to a personal friend (who is white) why his comments weren't flirting, but really creepy. So I hope this provide some clarity.

There's just cues that the person drops that are clear indicators that the person is a asiaphile at the creepiest level.

I work in tech, I'm a POC, I have lots of friends and family who are also POC, and we share things. We've all had some experience where we're in a room and some creepy (can be male or female) person just hits those notes. Where they see me, and rather talk about me as a person, go straight into my skin color, family background, ethnicity, how I look like thirst-trap person that they jerk off too, etc.

Is it bad to be someone's fetish? Depends on how lonely/horny you are. Often, it's creepy. Because they don't see you as a person but rather as a object. That's just me. Maybe both parties like being each other's fetish - mutual fetishism. I dunno.

Maybe Ask your friend group/circle of people. Like when you ask women if they can spot a creep, and they point out very specific elements that separately, are meaningless. But when the creep hits all those targets, it's a sign to leave the room.

Also, it depends on a lot of things. Your party of the world might have different takes on what is creepy fetishism. And as an American, I can't speak for that side of things.