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what works for you to let go?
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this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2024
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but don't you hate your life or makes it very miserable and tiring?
I mean, expecting everyone to fuck me over would make me angrier I believe, like going to work and constantly ruminate about how every coworker and client is going to ruin my day.
If you are a cynic, how do you don't ruminate?
or is cynicism more 'no expectations no disappointments'?
Cynicism is horrible. It is slowly training your brain to always assume the worst in everything and everyone, and has little to do with expectations. Cynicism legitimizes the anger you already feel, and makes it "okay" to yell about it, rather than taking control of your emotions.
You need a philosophy that allows you to take control, not one that justifies your helplessness. Mindfulness practices, and/or existentialist thought eventually leading to positive nihilism can help you.
Edit: After rereading your initial post, I am doubling down on mindfulness practices. The goal of simply not caring doesn't seem to be helping you, so perhaps it's best to try and accept and understand your feelings for what they are, rather than attempt to reject them. Your anger is there, and it is real, but it is your choice to act on it, or let it pass. With time, the practice of "letting it pass" will hopefully result in this being the default position. The brain form habits, and if you start to build a habit of letting go, it'll get easier.
Nihilism might be able to help assuage it, but yeah in my experience, yeah it's depressing. But that's because reality is depressing, and I'm actually paying attention to it.
But if you're not familiar with nihilism or existentialism, maybe look into them a bit. They can provide ways to become happy (or maybe more accurately, "content") in spite of everything being objectively awful.
If you're cynical in your rumination then there isn't much to ruminate about.
Cynicism is a vent. It's cathartic where is truthful. There's no point being angry "at god", there isn't one there. You can be angry at people, but only if it serves you. If the anger is pointless it's easier to discard it. If it has a point (you're going to complain to someone's superior) then it can be a useful motivator. I hate discomfort, so I work until I'm comfortable. I expect people to be self serving (this doesn't require any energy on my part) and I'm pleasantly surprised when they're not. Neither an I self serving, when I do things for others it feels like I'm sticking two fingers up at a system that would rather I'm a self centred ghoulish consumer. I guess it could be summed up as having very low expectations. But rather than being depressing I find it has the effect of creating joy in everyday mundane things.