The factor that is keeping me on Matrix is that I have all diffrent chats with people on different platforms in one client that is cross platform.

yeah, as I wrote above, that's no different in XMPP (but probably much more secure and better maintained: till recently most of the bridging in matrix-world was leveraged by libpurple, which has an horrendous security track-record).
If you are getting into bridging in XMPP, I recommend giving slidge a try: https://sr.ht/~nicoco/slidge/

that is is against ToS for most apps

https://slidge.im/core/user/low_profile.html#keeping-a-low-profile

google kinda “killed it”.

And yet it has hundred folds more users than Matrix :) XMPP is ubiquitous (it props up google cloud/nintendo switch push notifications, if your online game has a chat system with million users that's it, WhatsApp is using it, you have billions of IoT devices running it, …) so just like Linux it can't really be "killed" at this point as a critical piece of software infrastructure. On the user-facing side, things are alive and kicking with great and well-maintained clients (which is more than can be said about matrix, being a single-source implementation held together by a single company constantly fighting financing issues).