549
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 28 points 4 days ago

Unpopular opinion: Last names are inherently patriarchal and so is marriage

[-] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 4 days ago

On Spain we have two last names, one for the father other for the mother.

And while before the father's was always the first, since many years couples of newborn babies can choose the order of the surnames.

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 days ago

Is the latter your mother's first or second last name?

[-] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

First last name. Example:

Mother: Maria García Perez

Father: Juan Rodríguez Domínguez

Their kids can be named:

Adela García Rodríguez

or

Adela Rodríguez García

Ans once selected the order with the first kid all the kids from the same couple must follow the same order.

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 days ago

So it's the mother's father's name, or the names of both grandfathers. Still patrilineal

[-] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago

I mean, if you go that way, when surnames where created in the middle ages it was the name of the man.

All spanish surnames ending in -ez mean "son of". And it's always male names.

But change has to start at some point.

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 days ago

Some cultures trace heritage both patrilineal and matrilineal, so taking the first last name of your father as your first and the second last name of your mother as your second would be that.

[-] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

I'm curious, which country does it like that? Seems pretty interesting.

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

I read it in Everyday Utopia. A totally worthwhile book that includes discussions about alternatives to the nuclear family we are so accustomed to. I didn't find this exact example but in general, hunter gatherers have a much broader sense of heritage and family than we have. That's why it's so stupid when people claim they only care about their own family. Well, if you meet someone whose mother's father had the same totem animal as one of your caregiving adults who joined your group late in life, you might not share a language with this someone, but you are family. And once you live long enough in a group, you become family anyway.

[-] dingus@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago

Yeah I've always thought it was weird that women are supposed to give up their identity to a man to be married. I'm not really sure why hyphenated names aren't as popular in the western world or why people don't occasionally chose to take the woman's name. I know that women don't have to change their names, but then often you'll have the kids as the same name as the father anyway but not the mother. So I've heard many women say that they did it so their kids would share their last name.

Hell, I don't even like my father. But my name is who I am and I like it.

[-] Lauchmelder@feddit.org 13 points 4 days ago

with hyphenated names: what would the children do then? you can't keep adding more and more names like that (both practically and legally in some cases). serious question because I've also thought about that

[-] dingus@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I think it varies with culture, but from my understanding, usually they take the first name of the two hyphens for their own marriage.

So you have John Doe and Jane Smith. They hyphenate their names as Doe-Smith and the children do as well.

Say they have a daughter Sally Doe-Smith who meets Tim Johnson-Star. So they marry and hyphenate their names as Johnson-Doe. Both Smith and Star get dropped.

Yes, in examples like this, it still ends up as getting rid of the maternal aspect of the lineage in the very end...but the point is still that both parties are keeping part of and changing another part of their names. It's not an all or nothing total switch of identity. The lineage is male, but the here and now is an equal compromise of identity.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] trolololol@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

You clearly haven't met Brazilians

[-] phcorcoran@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

In Canada, you legally pick up to 2 of your parents' last names for your last name

[-] uis@lemm.ee 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

In ~~Soviet~~ Russia you pick a last name. Any last name. Except containing numbers, non-letters, more than one hyphen, rank or job title.

My name is Maximus Decimus Arnold Garfield Butcher Smith Hendrickson Meridius, and you shall have my name.

[-] countrypunk@slrpnk.net 8 points 4 days ago

The way that I'm gonna do it is whoever has the coolest/most unique last name is the one whose name is adopted. If they're both equally cool, then hyphenated it is.

[-] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Hyphenated names are too long. One of my good friends has one and people just refer to him and his siblings by the initials of their last name, like "Tim MP"

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 4 days ago

How do hyphenated names work after the next generation? Seems like that would get out of hand quickly when people with hyphenated last names start having kids with each other.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[-] tomi000@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Why would that be the case? How would marriage between two equals in a non-patriarchy be patriarchal? What about marriage between two women? What about last names in a society of beings without gender?

I think you didnt mean 'inherently'

[-] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago

is that an unpopular opinion, or just a well-known fact?

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (22 replies)
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
549 points (74.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27266 readers
3481 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS