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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by Pherenike@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

My father insists on a version of past events that is not true, where he supposedly helped me pay off debt when in reality I paid it off by working FOR YEARS. He doesn't say it as something he's proud of, but something I owe him and haven't "thanked" him for (?). He is extremely stubborn and old enough to definitely not remember things well.
He does this kind of thing with my siblings as well and it's come to the point where we feel that all we really were for our father was a money burden, be it true or not that he helped us financially at some point. How can I come to terms with the fact that he's not gonna acknowledge the truth no matter how many times I explain it to him, despite the anger and frustration I feel towards him for claiming something he actually DIDN'T do for his kid while minimizing my own work and effort?

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[-] orcrist@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago

Ignoring him is not working for you, or you wouldn't be here. Either respond actively or distance yourself. If he's a narcissist, the former might work. If he's looking for a fight, the latter might work.

And he was your dad. If he doesn't act like a dad, though, he'll become "the jackass who fathered me". Which is sad.

[-] Pherenike@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago

Thank you. He even said he doesn't want us to call him dad because we never treated him as one. (?) It's just so sad

this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2025
77 points (94.3% liked)

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