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What's the deal with male loneliness?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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Lack of socializing. We’ve lost the third place in modern society. It’s work and home and nothing else. Lots of people work from home now, which is great, but only if you have a third place. You have to meet people in the real world and find a way to connect with them.
People laugh, but churches are a good way to do that. Check one out, sit in the back, and watch the people who show up- the demographics, make sure the congregation is diverse, etc. If you see a same-sex couple walk in and sit down like they’ve done it a hundred times, you don’t have to worry about all the hate bullshit.
Church is a great way to meet people in a place where everyone feels safe and accepted. They are extremely welcoming to newcomers. There are always activities and groups to join. Churches have been the third place for literally centuries.
Even if you have irreconcilable philosophical differences, check out a Unitarian church.
Church is not a great place for third places- unless you happen to be like all the others at that particular church.
No church will actually accept you unless you’re the same as them. The “sameness” doesn’t have to be about race or orientation or accepting that.
They might be totally willing to let you in the front door, but unless you conform, that won’t be for long.
Libraries are a much, much better 3rd place, and they don’t try to ram theology down your throat to use it.
I've never talked to anyone in a library. Have you? Generally conversations are taboo in my experience. Maybe things have changed since I was able to go to one and relax.
Yes.
All the time.
I’m there at least once a week and I usually chat with the librarians for recommendations and to catch up with a few staff I’ve gotten to know.
They also have around 30 different clubs going on weekly, one of which I occasionally lead (teaching people the basics of 3d printing and design,) and that’s not including the dozens of book clubs they got, or the movie clubs.
And then there’s the larger events like “art days” or visiting cultural groups. The drag story hour, the princess story hour; the story hour for adults.
The major alternatives to prom and homecoming dances.
The tabletop gaming sessions.
Bingo night. Gin, hearts, spades and bridge night.
Most libraries will have something for everyone, even the poorly funded Hicksville ones where the churches likes to sell itself as an alternative 3rd space.
This is good advice but also note there are other alternatives to church that function the same way like humanist churches or the satanic temple. Note the satanic temple has nothing to do with satin and is not the same as the church of satin.