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Would you rather be smart, or beautiful?
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~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
I feel this to my core. I had a pretty successful career in army special operations, which ended after ten years with a few years of extremely heavy drinking, which ended with me getting out of the army and getting boatloads of mental health treatment, which is ongoing.
When I was at my peak, though, my most prize characteristic was my intellect. Now, though, my short term memory is measured in seconds, my working memory is like five digits at most, I forget words many times per day, and there's many more examples.
It's been absolutely crushing to remember such high performance, but be incapable of it now.