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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by isaaclyman@lemmy.world to c/adhd@lemmy.world

Regular reminder that being an asshole is not a symptom of any form of neurodivergence. (You can replace “neurodivergent” with depressed, anxious, bipolar, etc. and the diagram works equally well)

ETA: social faux pas, awkwardness, and genuine symptoms of neurodivergence don’t make you an asshole. I shouldn’t have to say this? An “asshole” is someone who enacts a pattern of abusive, controlling, harassing, and/or harmful behavior with no remorse or concern for how other people are affected.

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[-] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 57 points 3 days ago

"I don't care what's wrong with you. If you're an asshole, you're an asshole"

This has stuck with me for about 15 years now. A neurodivergent stage crew member who was consistently an asshole was being an asshole again, so this other kid just yelled at him and told him off. Everyone in the room gave him the shocked Pikachu face because he yelled at the ND kid. Someone said "dude, you cant yell at him" and then he laid down this quote.

[-] lbheuschkel@helvede.net 50 points 3 days ago

@5oap10116 @isaaclyman Being diagnosed with all kinds of crap before they finally settled on AuDHD, I've always sworn by "Diagnosises can be an explanation but never a shield."

Own your shit.

[-] atrielienz@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

I feel like I'm missing something here.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 22 points 3 days ago

Something many groups need to hear, not just the ND crowd.

[-] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago

Don't yell at people. The right answer is to tell them that they are a problem privately.

[-] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The sentiment is right, but using the phrase wrong with you, might be a little harsh. There's nothing wrong with them, they are who they are.

None of that excuses being an asshole though.

Wrong with you would be more like if they're going through a breakup and they aren't themselves, or going through grief over something etc.

But directed at a ND person where it can come off as being about their ND isn't good.

Edit: "I don't care what's going on with someone, if they're an asshole they're an asshole" would be a better option

[-] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

I don't go around as a 30 something saying the words of a 15 yr old. Yes it is not as tactful as it should be and I understand the nuance but the idea is the same and I'm not going to change what happened.

[-] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

I’m not going to change what happened.

Thats also fair. It's a story you're telling and it's what happened.

this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2025
678 points (96.2% liked)

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