I feel like people don’t understand me. If I show even the slightest vulnerability, I get told I’m playing the victim

Sorry to hear. I'm well into several years of trending that direction and facing the realization that I have very little control over it.

I find that big waves of this attitude have been hitting multiple societies, we are told to "pick ourselves up by our own bootstrap" and seek "private personal therapy" - but there is no real weather report about how people are under the influence of many different information systems and outright campaigns to influence attitudes and reactions.

There’s just a deep and profound sadness inside me, and my emotions are so raw that I just curl up like an armadillo.

it's become a lifestyle for a year for me now, and the couple years before that weren't much more than a couple people with semi-neighborly contact. It's not a nice precipice to observe and realize you are folding into.