113
submitted 1 year ago by _number8_@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

like either a dumbass posting stupid shit, unfair bans, idiotic arguments, etc etc. i feel so incredibly stupid letting it affect me at all, but then also there's real feelings mixed in there because it's a real argument i give a shit about to some degree. so it's this odd double crossing where i know it's stupid but i process it as being real.

bonus points for not answering 'go outside drink water read a book' etc etc

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] girl@unilem.org 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I struggle with this too sometimes, from a couple angles. Primarily, I’m worried about how people perceive me. I’ve been practicing not giving a shit what other people think of me for about a decade now, and I’m pretty good, but it doesn’t always work. I have to remind myself that it just doesn’t matter if a stranger disagrees with me, or thinks I’m a fuckwad/idiot/etc, just like my opinion of them doesn’t change their life. We don’t know each other. Their negative opinion of me has no real impact on my life, and holding onto that helps me move past caring about their opinion.

Secondarily, I stress about misinformation/toxic ideas being spread. I pipe up in a lot of discussions about feminism and the patriarchy because I want to clarify misconceptions that a lot of people hold about these issues. But, as far as I know, I’ve never changed someone’s mind, and the effort just brings me down. I have to remind myself it’s not my responsibility to teach someone why they might be wrong. The odds that I would actually succeed are very low, unless the person is genuine and asking questions in good faith.

ETA: lastly, I ask myself how I want to feel today. Do I want this random asshole to ruin my day? I don’t want to give them that power over me. So I work to take back that power and make sure I have a good day in spite of their efforts.

this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
113 points (92.5% liked)

Asklemmy

44173 readers
1926 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS