236
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
236 points (98.0% liked)
Asklemmy
44173 readers
2283 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
It's easy as kids because you know you're both regularly going to be physically present in the same place at the same time, so you'll actually have a chance to do friend things. You don't get that as an adult. You need to figure out if you can actually stay in touch with this person (e.g. maybe you have a shared hobby that allows you to regularly meet). You also have a better idea of what kind of people you get along with as you get older. With less time to spare, you definitely want to have these boxes checked before you invest more time into a relationship.
I understand what you're trying to say here.
Maybe I'm using a different definition for the word friend. The activities you describe are what I would associate with a close friend, someone you trust and want to hang out with.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are plenty of people at work, sports, etc. with whom you get along well with and they would probably enjoy more interaction on a friend(ish) basis. Doesn't mean you have to hang out or become close friends. Just that the tightening of bonds with the people in our surroundings should be easier than it really is.
I have a few coworkers with whom I share my enthusiasms, gripe about shared annoyances, go out for lunch and sometimes dinners. They're not really close friends, and I never really do anything with them outside of work, but I still consider them friends.
Does that make sense? Maybe I'm just rambling.