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this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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If the internet has taught me anything, it's taught me to never swim in Australia. In freshwater, crocodiles will eat you. In the ocean, sharks and saltwater crocodiles will eat you.
Also riptides will pull you out, small venomous fish will crawl up your urinary tract, volcanic gases will take away buoyancy from the water so you will sink (plus the poisonous gas will kill you). Oh, and the sun will give you cancer. That is, if you don't get bitten by a spider or snake in your hotel room before you even get to the waterline.
Btw did I mention that basically the entire population is descended from criminals who were sent there as punishment?
Things in Australia that can kill you, or make you want kill yourself, also include:
This guy is just cranky, not trying to kill you, just make you Go Away!
Mate, you forgot to mention the drop bears. Nasty little fuckers, fall out of a tree and maul your face.
This was news to me. My morning is now worse.