[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 28 points 7 months ago

I played it a couple of years ago, before a lot of the patches, and still thought it was one of the better games I have never finished.

spoilerThere is this quest line where a character is abducted, raped, tortured and kills herself after you rescue her. Afterwards, the main character and another are on a balcony and smoke, still processing the horrors they've witnessed. I had been off the smokes for a few months at that point, but still needed to go outside and do the same.

I uninstalled shortly after. Not out of disgust, I actually appreciated the game making me feel something, but it just felt right to stop at that point.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 58 points 8 months ago

It has it's roots in actual letter writing, as in "I hope this letter finds you well".

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 28 points 8 months ago

There is an often reposted study that shows people who are worse at video games are more likely to harass women. Though these are some issues with the study and it's scope, this more or less matches my experience. However, this is usually transformed via a game of telephone into suggesting higher skilled players are less misogynistic.

I have played at the top level of multiple games over different genres and it is incredibly misogynistic up there. The key difference is most of the nerds up there are less likely express it so obviously and publicly. In a lot of cases this is purely about self-preservation, teams in competitive games will be collectively penalized so there is a degree of self-policing (nobody wants to have their team disqualified with all that money on the line) and in PvE games there is usually a great deal of time (and lets be real, often money) invested in an account people don't want to lose.

It's gotten a lot better since the "tits or gtfo" and "there are no women on the internet" days, but the last time I was in these circles was only during COVID and it was still wildly misogynistic behind closed doors.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 24 points 8 months ago

The level of quality and number of bugs depends a lot on the era you're talking about, as well as the platform. As a PC gamer from the 90s, much of my technical literacy came about from trying to coax games to work. My experience with console gaming was usually much more hassle free, though I have far less experience with it and don't have a modern point of comparison (last console I even used, not even owned, was the PS3).

My real point of "it was better in the old days", is the industry learning to exploit addiction. It's everywhere, and it's not just gambling. The longer you play the more likely you are to pay so even without loot boxes and the like, games are taking as much out of casino playbooks as possible. It's fucking revolting and should be criminal.

As someone who has had problems with addiction of various kinds in the past, it's so blatant to me. I can feel it playing into my vulnerabilities and it makes my blood boil. I avoid most gaming these days because I know if I let it become a habit, the next time life knocks me down I'll fall victim to this.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 83 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I was a big 'offend everyone' dweeb, with a side serving of "free speech".

I grew up in structure where etiquette and taboo were abused and hated them. Like the chilidish little maximalist I was, I applied that hatred to everything. Slurs were particularly hilarious, I thought people were ridiculous with how they tip toe around them and delighted in their discomfort when I'd just come out and say it. They were just words, why be scared of them?

In my mind, I clearly didn't hold any bigoted views. Particularly with homophobic ones - I'm queer, I've been beaten for it, I've been beaten counter protesting "actual" bigots. I'd ask critics "what have you done?", before calling them a fa-

Well, you get the idea.

At the end, I was also a sort of community figure. An extremely minor one in the grand scheme of things, but I still had attracted a small audience. This included a large number of younger men who were impressionable. The thing is, they attract their own audience too.

I noticed an increasingly amount of what I considered, back then, to be "actual" bigoted stuff being said. Usually from older men trying to sway those younger men. I saw them buzzing around my peers too, encouraging them to say things for them, dropping bait in chats and pulling aside the younger male audience members to try to recruit them, more or less.

I tried a couple of times to call it out, but they'd fall back on "it's just a joke". They'd point to all the bullshit I'd said over the years and the obvious hypocrisy. I'd given up any credibility I had and bred an environment where these people could thrive. It also became clear that plenty of my audience had taken me seriously, and were imitating what they thought I was doing.

It made me reevaluate things. I'd alienated people, good people, by acting in this way. I'd hurt people I never had any intention of hurting with my callous disregard for their feelings. I'd convinced people to be worse in ways I'd fought against, destroying far more progress than I'd ever made.

So I stepped away from the spotlight and stopped. As a side note, working it out of your vocabulary is a truly frustrating progress. I'd trained myself to use slurs to mean the most basic things. Getting sober was more difficult but at least it was quicker. It took literal years of diligence to kill the impulse to call someone who is being annoying a fa-

Anyway.

Afterwards, a surprising number of the people who distanced themselves from me reached out. More than I deserved. I hadn't told anyone I'd had a revelation, or made some grand apology to try and absolve myself of the sin or whatever. It is telling about how bad it was that people took notice just from it's absence. Many of those shared stories of how it'd hurt them.

The one that broke my heart the most was a transwoman who I had stood up for when others tried to push her out. She had been lonely, and I'd given her just enough acceptance for her to get trapped in a toxic community. My bigotry she rationalized away, and it desensitized her just enough to try to fit in with the broader community around me. She internalized the horrific transphobia that was being said. I think it goes without saying what that did to her mental health and the places it lead. I had caused deep harm to not only someone I liked, who had looked up to me, but someone I had tried to help.

It's not just jokes, the intention doesn't change that.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 70 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

It's a little petty, but I feel stupidest about my hearing. Cranked my music too loud and didn't wear ear protection ever when I was younger. The tinnitus gets so bad sometimes it makes me suicidal.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 29 points 11 months ago

Most people could cheap out on tools and they'd still last. The average person just doesn't use the ones they own very often or work them particularly hard. Really, you're going to know if your usage will require higher quality tools and it's not the average techbro posting on /r/buyitforlife.

Backpacks are similar. If you're just using one lightly loaded for an urban commute there is nothing wrong with cheaping out. Spending more is really for people who are wearing them hard and filling them to capacity.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 20 points 11 months ago

Nope, just an LCD. It'll make you feel old but 15 years ago CRTs had already lost majority market share. Sony shut down its last CRT manufacturing plants in 2008.

I know, I'd kill to hear that sweet degaussing zap again.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My neighbour gave me a TV. To be precise, he rushed it to me unannounced at the exact moment I was leaving to go to a party. I accepted as quickly as I could in an effort to still make my train.

It turns out it's about 15 years old and I have no use for it. He's a lovely man but I intend to post it as free to a good home then drop it at an e-recycling station if nobody is interested.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 19 points 1 year ago

I've unsubbed from any comms that had them. They all become ghost towns with zero discussion.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 40 points 1 year ago

I doubt I'd notice.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 34 points 1 year ago

i would love you even if you were the size of a whale

Please for the love of god do not say this lmao

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solitaire

joined 1 year ago