My mom loves this song and tries to sing it all sexy and its so cringe that I feel my soul leave my body

We can only hope

I love Greenland sharks.

I have an entire spare dresser that has nothing but these drawers

Next mallard I get will be named that. Even if it's a girl. Gotta do it for the meme

I got into chickens when my sister started 4H, and when our chickens died suddenly, my grandma got us 3 ducklings as a gift without consulting anyone. They imprinted on me immediately and I was like, "I guess this is my new obsession because I'm a mother now."

That was 8 years ago. I started off with a Muscovy male, a muscovy female, and a mallard female. We rescued a second Muscovy female a couple years in. I moved to my own place in 2022 and brought the remaining birds with me, which were the Muscovy male and mallard female.

I ordered some more ducklings and rescued a couple birds over the course of 2022 and 2023. Right now I have:

2 female muscovies: Mama Duck and Lady. Mama Duck fights me over eggs, so I have to pull a Skyrim move and put a bucket on her head so I can take her eggs without her attacking me. Lady is very sweet and shows me her eggs and acts all happy when I compliment her best and thank her for the eggs.

A tiny male mallard and his mate who is a female mallard that looks like a male but has laid eggs. Little guy is Sonic (because he runs SO FAST) and his mate is Amy. Amy went through duck menopause about 6 months after I got her, so that's why she looks like a male in terms of feathers. Without her ovaries producing female hormones, her feathers defaulted back to mostly male. She and Sonic were rescued from a local family who couldn't care for them anymore.

A male Pekin that doesn't have male traits but I've seen his dick a few times. His name is Salt. He is a lil chonky.

A male khaki Campbell named Pepper. He was purchased with Salt as a baby. They were on sale for 25% off and were 100000% an impulse buy. They're besties and don't leave each other's sides.

A female khaki Campbell named Capri-Sun who yells a lot

A female Pekin named Judy. She's named after judge Judy because she's always squinting at me in a judgmental way and interrupts me with sassy quacks any time I talk to her. She's done this since she was literally only a day old. She has a distinct quack that has a squeak to it.

A female golden layer named Cayenne who is hella chill.

A female Cayuga named Fashionista who is slowly turning from black to white with each molt of her feathers (that's normal)

Does raising and training ducks count? I'm really good at it. I have care down to a science and I've done quite a bit medically because there aren't any vets that treat ducks around me. I've rehabilitated crazy injuries, performed minor surgery, treated severe malnutrition and vitamin deficiencies.

I have trained all of my birds to listen to basic commands and they know their names and respond to them.

I was given so much stuff when I bought my house. My one aunt had a shopping addiction and just gave me all of the kitchen shit. I live alon and my house is too small and laid out too weird for me to comfortably have guests. Idk what to do with everything, so it just stays in a cabinet. I don't want to throw it out because it's nice, but I have no use for it

I feel like these two were partners in crime.

I work at an MSP and a lot of our clients have to follow specific security compliance standards. Because Windows 10 is eol soon, we've been slowly upgrading folks to 11. I die a little each time I do an upgrade. People, including my coworkers and I, are not happy with it overall, but nobody can do anything because ✨compliance standards✨

It's not even a catchphrase. It's a threat

I've tried explaining Lemmy to people and they do not understand. They are like "just use reddit bro"

I stopped using Reddit when the API protests happened and haven't gone back. I honestly think Lemmy is far superior. I love seeing and interacting with the same people in varying threads. Feels like an actual community.