Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the house

everyone felt shitty

even the mouse.

With mom at the whore house

and dad smokin grass

I settled down

for a nice piece of ass

when out on the lawn

arose such a clatter

I sprang from my piece

to see what was the matter

and out on the lawn

I seen some big dick

and I knew in a moment

it must be St.Nick

he flew down my chimney like a bat out of hell

and i knew in a moment

the fucker had fell

He filled all our stocking with pretzels and beer

and a big rubber dick

for my brother, the queer.

then he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart

the son of a bitch blew my chimney apart

cussing and cursing as he rode out of sight.

pissing on all

having one hell of a night.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/23338011

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/23317143

I'm not even sure how many chickens I can fit on my current hard drive, but it's probably more than the number of persons I can fit.

Song: House of Pain - Jump Around

from The IT Crowd. stilll relevant and hilarious