The technology is already here:

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/12/31/1067400512/first-sickle-cell-patient-treated-with-crispr-gene-editing-still-thriving

I'd be Windows. Constantly rebooting every five minutes

funny idea but this is where transhumanism starts

we only get firmware corruption as we age

You actually have to work on yourself to get those upgrades. Takes a bit of effort but can be done.

Sadly they don't teach people anything about how to handle their emotions in school, so people never even attempt to get some skills in that area.

If you don't know how to master your emotions, you will never become a jedi.

No, you actually say you want to solve your problems without any work from your part, sorry no can do.

Even for a firmware update somebody has to code and work in the background, only the update process itself it's simpler (if you don't consider the work involved in creating the update mechanism and infrastructure itself).

essentially that is what mythology has been for humanity. Too bad now we just let advertising borrow the techniques without education the population how it works.

In a way parenting is our brains change a lot for that