22
submitted 1 year ago by mayflower@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 38 points 1 year ago

Item in grocery store doesn't scan.

That means it's free!

[-] wetnoodle@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

Every time I hear this one I wanna break the product in half and walk away😭

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

why do people say this?

I can only imagine they have the most repetitive, robotic lives.

[-] bigboismith@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

Working hard or hardly working?

[-] qwrty@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Are ya a smart fella, of a fart smella?

[-] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

More of a fart fella

[-] 1984@lemmy.today 7 points 1 year ago

What.... I like that one. Sorry.

[-] Linuto@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Just make sure you find and stick close to the other people at your job who think it's funny.

[-] llamapocalypse@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

"Watching porn at work, so both."

[-] essellburns@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago

Talking about any ear or hearing trouble and someone replies "pardon?"

🤦🤬

[-] DudeBro@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

I do this, but I like to respond with a loud and sudden "WHAT" which is probably less funny and more obnoxious but it usually gets a laugh

[-] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

As someone who's been hearing impaired my whole life, yes. The urge to punch the person in the face right at that moment sometimes seems irresistible.

[-] essellburns@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I'd like to believe I'd still have that reaction to this "joke" even if my hearing was fine, still I do agree with you that it's really extra infuriating when explaining a genuine hearing issue

[-] GreyShuck@feddit.uk 8 points 1 year ago

To a colleague arriving 10 mins late: "Afternoon."

To a colleague arriving 10 mins early: "Shat the bed?"

[-] dingus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I feel like if I shat the bed, I'd be late instead of early.

[-] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 5 points 1 year ago

Agreed 💯, this is not amusing.

[-] LadyLikesSpiders@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

As someone who works the later shifts, it took me a while to figure out what was wrong with "afternoon". It's been so long since someone has said good morning to me at work

[-] ReCursing@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

I have been unfortunate enough to hear various racist and/or homophobic jokes over the years, so probably one of them

[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

Three moles were digging a tunnel. One of the moles farts. The next mole says, "smells like rutabagas". The next mole says, "smells like carrots".

After a long pause, the first mole turns to the last mole that has not spoken yet and asks what they smell.

The last mole says "molasses" and gets back to digging.

[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I read this joke when I was maybe 13 and I never understood it. More than a decade later I was randomly driving around and I remembered this joke and got it.

[-] TotallyHuman@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago

Maybe just because we don't understand it, but the ancient Sumerian bar joke:

A dog entered into a tavern and said, 'I cannot see anything. I shall open this one.'

[-] kman@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

All of those trite reddit-tier quips that people repeat like they're filling out a template. Like

Person 1: such and such thing is shit

Person 2: that's an insult to shit!

I gotta figure they don't even find it funny themselves but just do it out of obligation. Hopefully now that AI is replacing all the commenters the conversation will become less robotic.

Some chowder head in the 80s said "you've never seen me and batman in the same room at the same time" and now we're all paying for it. "I'd call them a removed but at least those have warmth and depth"

[-] SilentStorms@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago

I also choose this guy's overused jokes.

[-] showmustgo@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The "I have a [topic] joke, but [topical reason why it wouldn't land or you wouldn't get it]" template

[-] Scheisser@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

A man went to a shop and they had a shovel.

[-] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

It's a toss-up between Elon Musk and people saying "WHAT?!" when I tell them I'm hearing impaired.

[-] snowe@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago

The “we are not the same” meme. I understand the point, it’s just not funny. It’s cringey as hell.

this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
22 points (84.4% liked)

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