328

Aliens want to communicate and they decide to use you and your personality as the base model for all humans. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago

UN: "Boy, they really like using Star Trek memes to convey their thoughts...."

[-] nxdefiant@startrek.website 11 points 1 year ago

All the Me clones: Sokath, his eyes opened.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

Turns out Star Trek was just a retelling of actual intergalactic life

Aliens: Who the hell told them all this stuff ... I don't look like that? ... My ass isn't that fat ... Is it?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] harry_balzac@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago

Well as someone with ADHD, depression, and anxiety, as well as being on the spectrum, initially we'd be kinda screwed. I have spent a lot of time in therapy and have done a lot to manage it all, as well as developing empathy for myself and others, so not so bad.

However, I choose to be a non-theistic Satanist and an anarchist, so a lot of other people are going to be fucked. Especially those that deserve no empathy due to their hoarding of resources and exploitation of people and the planet.

[-] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Could you elaborate on the Satanist part? It's the first time I encounter that specific term.

[-] takeda@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I met a member. And he explained to me that they are pretty much atheists but from the point of the law they enjoy religious protections.

Basically if you call yourself atheist, you won't get any religious protections, because you don't have any religion. Everyone knows that FSM is a joke, so that wouldn't fly either. So they created a religion. They chose Satan, to get expected reaction from devoted Christians, they don't believe in Satan though (unlike wackos from the Church of Satan). You can read their 7 tenets, which sound quite reasonable: https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets

[-] MightyGalhupo@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

This is actually really reasonable. What are the “religious protections” you speak of?

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[-] Funkytom467@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I'll gladly take aliens trying to cure me of an ADHD and depression i don't have if they can also cure us of religions and capitalism.

More importantly you going to therapy and improving yourself the way you described it, that in itself is sincerely the best exemple we can show an alien, ever.

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

Intergalactic Therapy Industrial Complex rubbing their hands

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

Seems i am going to be just fine after all.

Seriously though how did you write something so personal and yet described my life so well.

Like the only difference is that you are a non theist satanist anarchist. While i am an agnostic spiritual anarchist having Jesus (but not god) as an example of a good.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 25 points 1 year ago

Well, there'll be a lot less billionaires pretty quickly, from there it's gonna be a lot of references to star trek, doctor who, dead philosophers and general southernisms.

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

lol .... aliens arrive in 1960s era London police boxes to try to not alarm us as they make first contact

Aliens first message: ... I say my good man, it's quite a coincidence to find you in this part of the galaxy. I feel pecked by a hundred chickens, fuller than a tick on a big dog and fine as frog hair and not half as slick to greet you on this fair morning under god's blue sky.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago

Humanity is screwed.

They like being alone, don’t like loud noises, will find a reason to leave a situation with more than 3 people in a small area. They don’t have any sexual desire and will be most happy to go through life without ever having intercourse. Probably going to go extinct without outside intervention thanks to that, better intervene to preserve the species.

They want to hibernate when it’s cold outside. Cold = anything below 70f.

They’re herbivores though so at least they don’t destroy their planet by mass farming the cruelest and most inefficient food source possible. Silver lining?

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

Excellent source of creating a slave race? ... to build that interplanetary space gun to destroy XMH3003 and those stupid Morkahons

[-] Korne127@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Human population is very empathetic, but very kinky.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] thorbot@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

Humans only want to masturbate, sleep and play board games. Sounds great

[-] DredUnicorn@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago
[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

They're just gonna be commenting on Lemmy all day. Threat averted.

[-] DosDude@retrolemmy.com 4 points 1 year ago
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] notannpc@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

At one point in my job I was effectively the translator between English speaking Indian software devs, and American project managers. If I can translate technical information into something understandable to a PM, and vague program specs into actionable technical requirements for the devs I think we’d actually be alright with the aliens.

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago

I'm autistic. So they'd be very confused with most people I think

[-] bhamlin@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

I, for one, would welcome our nuwu owoverlords.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago

There's a lot of autistic people in this thread

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 year ago

There's a lot of autistic people on lemmy I think

[-] theneverfox@pawb.social 17 points 1 year ago

I think it'd go great.

I feel like they'd be horrified, and conquer our planet and force us all into therapy, but think they'd see us as worth helping

[-] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 1 year ago

I'm literally autistic and I can barely even talk to people anymore, so I imagine it'll be a gigantic disaster.

[-] unreasonabro@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

right but they're psychic so you can actually communicate at a real rate instead of tripping over your meat trumpet like a fucking animal all the time

[-] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 year ago

Oh okay, so all they're going to hear about humanity is all the weird math shit I've been watching YouTube lectures on lately 😆.

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

what book is it where they communicate with aliens starting with first principals of mathematics? we might be ok.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] BigMoe@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 year ago

“Why do these aliens keep making stupid, unfunny jokes”?

[-] bonezey@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Can't leave the flying saucer without having triple checked it's locked.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] outer_spec@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 year ago

“Hmm, it looks like these humans really like ‘tentacle hentai’… we could use this to our advantage”

[-] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Intergalactic diplomacy will play out in World of Warcraft.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] MyFairJulia@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Humanity shall receive the gift of estrogen!

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Hey, the aliens want to communicate through a sarcastic misanthrope... well, I can't say I'd blame them.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Well... it could be worse... you should all thank them they didn't pick my sister.

[-] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago

Let’s just say the overpopulation issue will be thoroughly resolved

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] matmarspace@programming.dev 7 points 1 year ago

I guess we're good. :)

[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

Not bad. Couple of you fucks would be ackacked into non-existence but 99.997% of you would be alright.

[-] Pyroglyph@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

You make it sound like you have a fervent hatred for ~250,000 people.

I'm intrigued...

[-] Voyajer@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Dude must have a grudge against Samoa or something. That or he wants to distribute some wealth and zap all the billionaires and anyone close to being one.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Adalast@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I am pedantic to a fault, capable of simultaneously being the most specific and most vague person you will ever speak with, and have the social skills of a carrot. I am also debilitatingly ADHD, reasonably autistic, and more intelligent than is able to produce an emotionally functional adult.

I will leave it up to you all on if you want me to be the model, but I'd be happy to if it were up to me.

[-] harmsy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

In one sense? Very, very much. I hope y'all like tentacles. In another sense, the complete opposite of screwed. I hope y'all like free healthcare.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I'll try my best.

[-] Elephant0991@lemmy.bleh.au 4 points 1 year ago

Screwed!

But this is not a very good/logical/reasonable alien to be in contact with. There are so many ...ists with can call this alien. Generalization with sample of one? Pfff... They won't even get here...

[-] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I'd say just barely north of average, but quickly declining.

[-] FMEEE@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago

I think u re asking on the wrong platform.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
328 points (95.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27215 readers
2995 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS