Personally I like the explanation that nobody knows how to use the three shells, and that's why everyone joins in the mockery if someone dares ask, because they don't want anyone to think they don't know.

So they all use their hands to scrape. That helps explain why they don't shake hands anymore, and why they're obsessive about cleanliness.

When you've done dirty, dirty things... Everything must be clean.

How do you use those?

One day, I'm going to actually start a project I've long wanted to do: tear apart the control board for one of the bidets and re-wire it up to a board with three shells.

It's not a complex project, but I want to make it look nice, and I always get stuck in planning; I need to either invest in a 3D printer, find a local maker space, or spend time online finding a printing service. And before all that, I need to learn enough about designing for a printer ... it's at this point in the thought process I get sidetracked by other things, and never get started.

But... someday. Someday, I'll have three shells that actually control the toilet.

Side note: there are far more than three controls on the bidet remote, and even programming a multi-sequence control, it'd be difficult to get all of the functionality behind just three buttons. If each shell were a 4-way toggle, it might work, but it'd be a terrible user interface having to memorize all the combinations.

Did anyone ever ask the question?