209
submitted 6 months ago by jeffw@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world
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[-] YungOnions@sh.itjust.works 95 points 6 months ago

Time to break out ol' faithful

[-] KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago

Sorry for being late boss, my car woke down.

[-] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 72 points 6 months ago

Where can I buy woke water?

[-] dariusj18@lemmy.world 74 points 6 months ago

The tears of Conservatives

[-] jeffw@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago

hands down my favorite comment on this post

[-] jumjummy@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

Too much lead unfortunately

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[-] Tujio@lemmy.world 35 points 6 months ago

There's a small craft brewery in small-town Wisconsin that partnered with a coffee roaster to make a canned coffee called "Woke". The coffee is pretty good, and the beer is damn good.

They piss off the local right-wing government, so they're constantly getting shut down, but it usually only lasts a couple weeks.

https://www.minocquabrewingcompany.com/

[-] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 6 months ago

I already love these guys.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

"Extinct Elephant." Beautiful.

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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

Water works the same no matter gender, race, creed, sexual orientation, age or any other human metric. Water is the wokest thing ever!

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 7 points 6 months ago

You have to collect rainwater and filter it yourself

Only known way for truly ethical water

[-] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

A true "Patriot" would follow the trail of the filter. Where did the raw materials come from for the filter? where was it manufactured? how was it shipped to the store? Who put it on the shelf? If a dirty librul ever touched it then it can't be certified as "non-woke"

[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

Not sure but the water out of your faucet is much less likely to have something wrong with it and if it is not completely free it is very very close to it.

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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 52 points 6 months ago

Sometimes, I wish I lacked a sense of guilt. I could make so much money conning these people...

But then if I lacked a sense of guilt, I'd be one of them.

[-] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 6 months ago

Mood. Maybe make a bunch of money conning them and donate directly to causes they oppose?

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago

I'd feel guilty just about the lying part to be honest.

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[-] psmgx@lemmy.world 46 points 6 months ago

They just keep fleecing the rubes and the rubes just keep letting them

[-] Shyfer@ttrpg.network 24 points 6 months ago

It looks so easy 😭 I wish I had the starting capital and lack of morals to start one of these grifts.

[-] jeffw@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago

Just print out the word “freedom” in size 72 times new roman on your printer (doesn’t matter if it won’t fit on one line) and tape it to some blank t-shirts. Go to a Republican event and sell them

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[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 43 points 6 months ago

Snowflakes. Incredibly infantile in their "freedom fries" kind of way.

[-] Omegamanthethird@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago

I hate to say it, but Dems should be trying to reclaim the word "freedom". It makes absolutely no sense for Cons to be attached to it so strongly. We need more freedom fries and liberty toast.

[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago

I think they do, it's just not repeated ad-nauseam and attached to everything like the Cons do. Free to be LGBTQ, free to read the books you want, free to organize labor, etc... Real, tangible, life-improving freedoms. Cons? All they want is freedom to take everyone else's rights away. That's their "freedom".

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[-] Corngood@lemmy.ml 38 points 6 months ago

she got the idea for the brand while watching the Republican debates, where she noticed audience members drinking water that had “no connection to the people drinking it.”

They could have been drinking the same water as the blue team. Disgusting.

[-] Drusas@kbin.run 36 points 6 months ago
[-] jeffw@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago

Nope, Nestle is too woke. Anything that doesn't say "Freedom" is too woke.

[-] Omegamanthethird@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

Ironic because freedom is also woke.

[-] treadful@lemmy.zip 13 points 6 months ago

Pumped downstream of some chemical factories on the great Mississippi river for that slight hint of deregulation flavor.

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[-] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 29 points 6 months ago

Well, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of.

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[-] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 29 points 6 months ago
[-] Curious_Canid@lemmy.ca 14 points 6 months ago

That's just what I was thinking. It should contain added microplastics and industrial waste. And it should come in bottles made of plastic that cant' be recycled and never breaks down. That would be the proper way to support right wing environmental policies. It would also be another "don't get vaccinated" way for them to kill their own supporters.

[-] 242@lemmy.cafe 27 points 6 months ago

Is there a single generic product these imbeciles won't line up to buy if you slap trumps face, or the word freedumb, or the anti-woke label on it? I should have been a grifter.

[-] bolexforsoup@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 6 months ago

I jokingly asked my wife recently if I could quit my job and become a right wing YouTuber. I have worked in video and audio production for over a decade, I would have an operation up and running in probably a week if I really wanted to do it. We laughed and sighed…And then realized that unfortunately, I would probably be at least modestly successful.

[-] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

I think the way you need to do it is The Onion style of journalism, with a wink and a nod. BUT when your crazy ass right wing theories get shared as "FACTS" on other social media sites you don't dispute it. I kinda think that is how most right wing YouTubers do it.

[-] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

Rebooting The Colbert Report

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[-] batmaniam@lemmy.world 26 points 6 months ago
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[-] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 26 points 6 months ago

We're almost at the "Brawndo" level of Idiocracy.

[-] NickwithaC@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago

This is their version of corporate pride month merch.

[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 19 points 6 months ago

Republicans will buy damned near anything out of spite.

[-] cmbabul@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago

This sincerely might be the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t even have words anymore

[-] match@pawb.social 18 points 6 months ago

anti-woke water is what i call my nighttime melatonin drink

[-] DMBFFF@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago

I'll stick to refilling old bottles with tap water.

[-] jeffw@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago

You should use a reusable water bottle for that purpose though. Don't reuse single-use plastic like that

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[-] sunzu@kbin.run 9 points 6 months ago

Water bottle business and how boomers fell for it is microcosm of how modern America works.

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[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago

Woke water, anti-woke water; all bottled by Nestle!

[-] Breve@pawb.social 11 points 6 months ago

Republicans: Keep political statements out of my sports/TV/video games/etc!

Also Republicans: You can now make drinking water a political statement!

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this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2024
209 points (94.1% liked)

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