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Stretching (slrpnk.net)
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[-] rtxn@lemmy.world 118 points 2 months ago

(opens Blender with malicious intent)

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 135 points 2 months ago
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[-] Meron35@lemmy.world 114 points 2 months ago

I've been thinking about it for several days, and have come to the conclusion that Elastigirl could indeed grow a dick. As shown in multiple scenes, she can stretch any part of her body to make it many times larger. Based on what she has done, it should be no problem for her to extend her genitals into a penis. This brings us to the second discussion point. Mr. Incredible has super-strength, and more importantly, super endurance. This means that his wife could easily expand her dick to several yards in length. The problem of fitting in into Bob's tight asshole could easily be solved by inserting it while small, and ballooning up afterwards. I think the writers made them have these Specific powers on purpose. It seems unlikely that it is a coincidence that Helen has the ability to grow a massive dick, and her husband just so happens to have an indestructible anus. Therefore I conclude that not only does Elastigirl have the biggest dick in the world, she bones Mr. Incredible with it on a regular basis. And because it is a girl and a guy, it is by definition, not gay

[-] admin@sh.itjust.works 49 points 2 months ago

What the fuck did I just read?

[-] jollyrogue@lemmy.ml 59 points 2 months ago

The abstract for OP’s PHD thesis.

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[-] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

Please invite me to the defense of the thesis, I'll sit in the back and ask relevant questions that you can answer easily and allows you to show off your intellectual prowess at the same time.

[-] luciferofastora@lemmy.zip 24 points 2 months ago

I appreciate the effort you put into writing this. Not the result, but at least the effort.

[-] psmgx@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Fuckin QED, mate

[-] verdantbanana@lemmy.world 71 points 2 months ago
[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 64 points 2 months ago
[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 32 points 2 months ago

I should ask her how it's hanging

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[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 71 points 2 months ago

I know I couldn't do this on Reddit but can I delete someone else's post on Lemmy?

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 51 points 2 months ago

Yes.

Step 1: Host an instance

Step 2: Delete a post

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 28 points 2 months ago

I like Lemmy better already.

[-] gregor@gregtech.eu 9 points 2 months ago

Hehehehe I can do that

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 43 points 2 months ago

More importantly:

The only reason they hooked up in the first place was that her powers allowed her to take that Incredidick™ without dying.

[-] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

It's the, ah, finish that's the danger.

Basically this:

(I'm sorry)

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[-] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 35 points 2 months ago

you shouldnt ask questions you already know the answer to

[-] Maultasche@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago
[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

To the person who flagged this NSFW because of the language, you probably will not last long on Lemmy if "clit" and "dick" (misspelled) are too not safe for where you work.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 months ago

Doing the Lord's work Squidward

[-] Katana314@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

If we can’t say dick it makes it hard to discuss my favorite detective in the Ace Attorney series.

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[-] cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 21 points 2 months ago

✊ TO THE SEARCH MACHINE!

Rule 34, don't you fail me now!!

[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Based on random deviant art from just logging in you wont be disappointed.

[-] psmgx@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

everyday we stray further from god

[-] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

I'm pretty sure the fanart of that exists somewhere. Rules 34 and 35, y'know.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

I don't see why not.

[-] lath@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

She could, but it would be hard to keep it hardened long enough or tough enough for it to be used that way. She's not a fucking pokemon after all...

[-] 0ops@lemm.ee 29 points 2 months ago

She turned herself into a motorboat

[-] lath@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

But not for motorboating purposes.

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[-] Akasazh@feddit.nl 6 points 2 months ago

fucking pokemon

I got distracted

[-] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

Speaking of Vaporeon...

[-] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago
[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 28 points 2 months ago
[-] gregor@gregtech.eu 6 points 2 months ago

This will be very useful in the future in, tysm!

[-] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 10 points 2 months ago

Cause they'll never get to see her do this?

[-] baggins@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 months ago

Not with that attitude

[-] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The meme my fet needed

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Wouldn't it be too sensitive to fuck with?

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 39 points 2 months ago

My wife tells me I'm to sensitive to fuck with.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 18 points 2 months ago

Presumably the nerves wouldn't multiply and they'd be spread out, creating a faux penis in a process that wasn't entirely dissimilar from evolution's.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 14 points 2 months ago

female hyenas would like to know your location

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

Well she'd probably accelerate up to teenage-boy initial orgasm speed, but because she's a woman she could just keep going until she's had enough of them. And presumably the nerve endings would be more dispersed due to stretching.

[-] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

It wouldn't be pegging then, would it?

[-] mjhelto@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

That's enough Internet for today!

[-] Phegan@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Do you think she can extend it enough for fuck bois to find it?

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[-] magnetosphere@fedia.io 7 points 2 months ago

I don’t know, but I guarantee they’ve at least tried.

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this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
615 points (96.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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