446
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by nuke@sh.itjust.works to c/noncredibledefense@sh.itjust.works

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[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 115 points 2 months ago

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE

RUSSIA JUST DEPLOYED THEIR STRONGEST, MOST CAPABALE WARRIOR TO KURSK ... Steven Seagal

[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 56 points 2 months ago

Even better picture of Seagal displaying his expert weapon handling skills

[-] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 40 points 2 months ago

Needs to be the GIF of him going down a hallway switching from holding his rifle right-handed to left-handed when he changes his pointing direction

[-] Aganim@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

Ah well, we don't need a moving GIF to see this is the absolute pinnacle of manliness that Mother Russia has to offer.

[-] Archer@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

Have you seen that man run fatly around corners? Majestic

[-] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Like a bull elephant seal,the deadliest of seals.

[-] sinkingship@mander.xyz 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If you enjoy disliking Seagal, you might enjoy "Space Ice"'s movie reviews on YouTube .

[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 102 points 2 months ago

THE LEAKS CONTINUE

WE NOW HAVE VISUAL CONFIRMATION OF U.S. SPECIAL FORCES INVOLVEMENT IN KURSK

[-] Mammothmothman@lemmy.ca 39 points 2 months ago

I PITTY DA FOO WHO SIMPS FOR PUTIN

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

I love it when a plan comes together.

[-] adarza@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

this WILL show up on russian tv where they claim americans are part of the 'invasion force'.

[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 27 points 2 months ago

AS IT SHOULD. THIS IS REAL NEWS. NOT FAKE NEWS. REAL. THIS NEWS IS CERTIFIED GLUTEN-FREE, CAGE-FREE, AND HAND-CRAFTED BY ARTISAN CRACKHEADS. WE'RE TALKING NON-GMO, LOCALLY SOURCED, ORGANIC CRACKHEADS.

[-] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

You forgot "artisanal" and "volunteer"

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Point of order: The A Team were convicted of a crime they did not commit, and escaped from a military stockade. This means they are not US forces, but, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

[-] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

My sides are aching, laughter is great for the abs!

[-] rustyfish@lemmy.world 97 points 2 months ago

Hear me out!

The best these blokes ever came up with were their specials. So, we throw them off the Ukrainian battlefields with parachutes, where they each have to salvage a burnt out Russian armoured vehicle. Then they can show off how they personalised their tanks before the race starts. Whoever reaches Moscow first wins.

[-] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

Which tank does each pick?

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 50 points 2 months ago

Jeremy Clarkson, Challenger. Talks up the mk 3 but shows up with a mk 1 somehow. Maintains superiority of his tank because it has a tea kettle.

James May, Leopard. Gets the latest model, stands on it's smooth ride.

Richard Hammond, Abrams. Somehow shows up with upgraded engine, but less armor. Anything to make it go even faster.

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 37 points 2 months ago

And if any of them break down, they have to use a T-34.

[-] CptEnder@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I'd watch the shit out of that special .

It has to end with Clarkson flying a drone into James' tank and Hammond somehow flipping an Abrams.

[-] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago

It has to end with Clarkson flying a drone into James’ tank

James May: Cock!

[-] artemisRiverborne@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Tea kettle is so on point 😂

[-] Summzashi@lemmy.one 12 points 2 months ago

Jeremy Clarkson rolls up in a BM 13 Katyusha with raised suspension. The license plate says ClarksonOrgel

[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 72 points 2 months ago

UNCONFIRMED REPORTS THE NAVY SEAL HAS ALSO BEEN ACTIVATED

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 50 points 2 months ago

Just make sure Clarkson doesn't get dinner. He'll beat up the entire Russian army single handedly.

[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 32 points 2 months ago

THREE SUSPECTS CAUGHT ON CCTV EXITING THE KURSK NUCLEAR POWER PLANT. DOES ANYONE HAVE MORE INFORMATION???

[-] palitu@aussie.zone 8 points 2 months ago

Burn list? Damn that takes me back a few years

[-] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

Burn notice was fun. Sam Axe (Bruce Campbell) is the man.

[-] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

"CIA? Bunch of bitchy little girls." -Sam Axe capturing the hearts of the world

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Never seen it, but that shot is clearly an homage to reservoir dogs.

[-] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

Putin has declared the man at center Publix enemy number one.

[-] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 months ago

Wow looking at the small lad on the left they’re even using children.

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago
[-] xep@fedia.io 17 points 2 months ago

Clarrrkksssooooonnnnnnn!!!!

[-] TheBat@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Clarkson you blithering moron!

[-] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I didn't even notice I was on NCD when I first opened this...

[-] Mango@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

They don't look very elite.

[-] supercriticalcheese@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

They are so elite that they lookcasual!

[-] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

Oh, they are. Look how serious their expressions are. It's always the unkempt, gormless looking one who turns out to be Head of Station or some secret shit.

[-] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

They're more dangerous than SAS, they're retired TGT.

[-] Pringles@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Looking for some of that black earth farm land for the next season of Clarkson's Farm.

[-] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

Oh, how I wish.

this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
446 points (98.9% liked)

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