Just to clarify, what temperature do you set your freezer at and does it stay that temp of do you notice it fluctuating more than a few degrees throughout the day?

What brand are you buying?

I had I think tillamook and hagan dazs stacked on top of eachother in my freezer. The hagan dazs was brick hard and the tillamook remained soft and easy to serve. I prefer soft but if you don’t like it give hagan dazs a try.

yeah, fuck these snowflakes

By your ice cream based on weight. You can't get away from the additives that make it a little fluffier but you can get away from the overturned extra air filled batches. In the mid-eastern US Turkey Hill brand is pretty decently solid. I've also noticed some of the five ingredient only ice creams are solid. Then you have stuff like Häagen-Dazs.

There are 2 types of ice cream:

Real ice cream, made with nothing more than milk, cream, sugar, and flavoring (vanilla, chocolate, whatever)

And bullshit ice cream that starts with a custard (aka Philly Style).

Real ice cream freezes hard, Philly style always stays softer.

Then there's "overrun" which is a measure of how much air is trapped in the ice cream. Cheaper brands have higher overrun rates, and it makes ice cream softer.

I have this problem every so often. If your freezer is anything like mine, you just keep grabbing ice cream during, or even right after, a defrost cycle. That, or there's something wrong with the defrost cycle itself. Best check your meters and gauges

Happy when I get ice cream that doesn't take 10 minutes to thaw enough to not bend spoons. Never seen anything close to what you've described though; just soft enough that you can generally eat it with some force straight from the freezer.